Brian spent several hours with PaPa today. The first was spent listening to a lengthy rendition of PaPa's memories and looking for a good point to ask about his faith. As they sat and ate lunch together, the topic finally did come about. Brian did a lot of listening and asked lots of questions, seeking mostly to understand and clarify how my grampa sees things, rather than sermonize and "set him straight". Through their discussion, Brian says he became "more encouraged" that PaPa has a simple faith in Christ. PaPa spoke of changes he had made in his life because he realized that he was not "honoring God" (PaPa's words) and his speech had many references to the daily place of God in his life. He did mention that he hoped he hadn't done anything too bad to not go to Heaven, to which Brian questioned him on whether anyone could be good enough. PaPa knew no one could. Brian kept restating the simple truths of the gospel throughout their conversation, and said that PaPa seemed to "get it", even if rather simply. PaPa also said he is very much at peace with his impending death and that he is ready. The only real question he asked of Brian was "what comes next?"...he said his priest never talks about what the afterlife will be like. So Brian read Revelation 21 to him and told him about Heaven and the New Earth and how we won't just be flying around with wings and harps but will probably live lives somewhat resembling our lives on Earth. Throughout the conversation Brian asked several times, "are you trusting in Christ and his death on the cross?" to which PaPa answered, "of course I am."
I am encouraged by most of this. It's not the "home run" that all of us have been hoping and praying for, with a clear-cut answer to whether PaPa is trusting solely in Christ and not in his own goodness or religiosity. And yet there seems to be evidence of fruit in his life (the conviction to change his God-dishonoring ways) and he professes faith in the cross of Christ. In my staunchly Protestant theological mindset, hearing him mention his hope that he hasn't done anything too bad to lose Heaven freaks me out. Is there still the chance that he is putting his hope in his own works? It seems there is. But I wonder if there is more common ground between us Protestants and Catholics than I care to admit...could it be that sometimes we are talking about the same thing in a different language and not realizing it? Brian reminded me of how Pastor Gregg used to say that when he gets to Heaven he'll be surprised by three things: 1) the people whom he thought would be there and aren't, 2) the people whom he didn't think would be there and are, and 3) the fact that he himself made it there--only by the grace of God, of course!
Thank you all for your prayers for my sweet PaPa. I will continue to hope and pray that our coming goodbye will not be the end, but that the Lord will use every minute of PaPa's time left on earth to drive him closer to Him. My God is a God who saves. May His powerful and sovereign grace be real and effectual in my PaPa's heart for the glory of His Name!
6 comments:
I too struggled a bit when my Great-Uncle passed away. He was the only grandpa I really had and got to know. He'd had a stroke a couple years earlier and wasn't able to communicate in the end. A conversation like Brian's wasn't possible at that point. I think God gave me some little clues that Uncle maybe had a bit of truth hidden in his heart, albeit it simple. A small amount of hope is better than a lot of unknown wondering. I'll continue to pray for your family. Thank you for sharing your sweet PaPa's updates.
We are continuing to pray...just look at how God has sustained his life, despite low platelet counts! I am amazed at how God chooses to work despite all earthly odds.
Thank you Jesus that you know Papa's heart better than any of us. His heart is not beyond your reach. Continue to draw him closer to you. May his last days be a reflection of Gods love and faithfulness. Help him to consider the words spoken to him in your word. Help him to understand the gift of grace that you freely give. Continue to give his family hope and wisdom.
that last one was from pam... ;)
Jen, I'm encouraged by your post! Yes, I know it wasn't the 100% mind-satisfying, put-you-at-peace outcome we were praying for, but boy does it seem that God has been at work in PaPa's heart, even long before this. And it seems to me that God was giving you the gift of being able to be made aware of this before PaPa's passing.
No doubt Brian's conversation spurred more thought and grappling on PaPa's part, too. (Otherwise why would he even have been interested in discussing faith matters with Brian, right?) We'll continue to pray for things to be solidified in PaPa's heart and mind if they aren't already.
Had a thought...that at times we all struggle with a works mentality (whether it be doing things in our own strength or just feeling like a crappy Christian)--even those of us who are absolutely convinced of the Gospel and Its power. The bottom line is always about the heart and its surrender. Sure sounds like PaPa's heart belongs to God. :) I'm encouraged!
LOL
"But I wonder if there is more common ground between us Protestants and Catholics than I care to admit...could it be that sometimes we are talking about the same thing in a different language and not realizing it?"
Good for you . . .
Praying, Jen.
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