We've had a little time to breathe the past couple of days, but I think this is it. My mom just called to say that PaPa has taken a turn for the worse. He is very weak, has a terrible headache, digestive difficulties, is short of breath, and can barely walk. He now needs 24 hour care. My mom has been with several people at the end of their lives and she says she doesn't think he'll make it more than 3 days.
On top of this, my grandma needs to be moved ASAP to the Alzheimer's floor of the nursing home. She has been wandering into other people's rooms and having accidents on their furniture. The "Fourth Floor" is not a pretty place to be, being filled with residents who are all end-stage Alzheimer's sufferers. We were hoping she could stay a while longer on the normal floor.
A few bright spots: PaPa went to see Grandma yesterday and had a good visit with her--probably his last. He is happy that she is in a good place and knows that we will take care of her. Also, my brother came home from England and was able to see him over the weekend. Lastly, when the hospice nurse asked PaPa if he wanted the chaplain to come over to talk with, PaPa answered, "I kind of liked talking with Brian". How neat is that? Hopefully we'll be able to make that happen again.
So, I thought I would be able to get out tonight for some "me" time, but I think I'll be heading over to see PaPa. We would very much still appreciate your prayers: for PaPa as he heads into his final days, that he would be further drawn to the Lord and find total peace in Him; that my family will be able to juggle the needs of caring for PaPa 24/7 and moving my Grandma to a different floor; for Brian and I, as we decide whether to take our boys to say good-bye...is that a good idea?; and for us as we are leaving on Friday (with all four kids!) for a ski retreat with the high-school group in the U.P. of Michigan...this timing could get very bad.
I feel the weight of the darkness pressing down again, like I did at first. I don't want to head back into this grief, but I have no choice. Thanks be to God, whose love is deeper than any sadness. I know He will meet me there.
5 comments:
Death is a part of life, I say absolutely take the children to say goodbye to Papa. It will be very important to them--and to him.
Sweetie, we continue to lift you and your family in prayer. You are beautiful... and yes, SO many times yes - He will meet you.
Wow! It sounds like you have a lot going on. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. And just as Vonda said, He will be there for you. I pray fro peace for you and your family. I pray that He will be gloified through this whole situation. I pray that this experience will bring your family closer together.
I too think the kids should say goodbye. I will also continue to pray for your entire family during this rough time. BTW - your Grandma is beautiful and you look a lot like her. How special. I'll keep praying.
I think he would love to say good-bye to your boys- Maybe ask the boys what they think? Would they like to go? You would hate to have them ask you later on why you didn't take them to say goodbye~
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