"So then the question comes to me and to you each day: Will you be
faithful? Will you discharge your gifts, fortunes, and life for truth,
love, and beauty to the glory of God? Don't seek success per se,
and do not seek greatness; be faithful with what you have been given to
do. Be faithful to whom you have been given to love."
--Tim Porter, faithcommunity.info/blog/porter
This was encouraging to me today. I identify with Tim's struggle with what boils down to prideful envy of the success and notoriety of others. Sometimes I feel so insignificant, almost like my life is being wasted. I'm a smart woman with a passion for people, theology and ministry. And yet it seems like my life is consumed with runny noses, poopy bottoms, breaking up fights between two young boys, and a messy house that defies every effort I make to keep up with it. Why did I go to college, anyway? For this? What was I thinking? I wanted to save the world (see previous post), be off in other cultures serving Christ... and yet here I am, a mom of 3 who has time or energy for little else.
Last night I got a call asking me to join the leadership of a ministry at church. Nothing earth shattering or anything, but I would be leading something. I acknowledged to B that now is not the time, that I don't have enough to give to this important ministry, despite my desire to be a part of it. And then I confessed my prideful thoughts accompanying this decision... "I could be in charge of something... Finally someone sees my potential!... I wouldn't be just a mom anymore!"... It's probably a good thing I can't serve in this position right now--God has some serious humility work to do in me first!
But I know that a lot of this comes from not accepting the post God has given me. This is where he has placed me, and as Tim said, I need to be faithful right here. To the ones God has given me. This is my high calling. Not to seek greatness. Only to be faithful.
Lord, help me to be your faithful servant! Let me give everything you've placed within me to serve you right here, right now. Help me not clamor after greater things. Just fix my eyes on you and let me run. Oh, and please give me a humble heart!
