Ireland Beauty

Back in July, Ed and Vonda, Bri and I went to Ireland. Words cannot describe the time we had or the land we saw, but perhaps some pictures can come close.

I'm not sure I'll ever feel at home anywhere else on this earth after visiting there...

Perfect Christmas

Tonight I think I should blog; this is a day I want to remember. Not because it was over-the-top exciting, and not because I got any superly cool presents (although I do like my new Magic Mouse I am using as I write this!). Today was amazing instead because of how much I enjoyed the small things. The things that matter...

Bri and I slept in a bit while the kids opened stockings downstairs. When we came down, there was Lindsay, our dear "daughter" home between ministry assignments, playing a new game with the girls while the boys tried out a new video game. Christmas had arrived and they were so excited! The day was spent playing, assembling, mediating, baking, and keeping things to a manageable chaos. In all honesty, it wasn't perfect, but it was life with the ones I love and there was much joy. At times when I would come close to losing my patience with another demanding, hopped-up-on-sugar-and-presents child, I told myself that I would just let it happen and not try to control every moment. And so I didn't. On one of the most hectic and energy-sucking days of the year, there were very few cross words that came out of my mouth.

It is hard to know why things are changing. Surely a part of the reason is the ages of the kids: almost 11, 8, 6, and almost 4...life is becoming more manageable and fun. Maybe another part is now having my own life separate from home. Working has given me life I have not known as a mother and helps me appreciate so much more the time I have with my children. Perhaps I am simply realizing the brevity of life, that we don't have an unlimited store of Christmas days or any other days for that matter. I have come to see that all of life is a gift--every heartbeat, every laugh, every memory. There are no guarantees and I am so thankful for every moment. Whatever the reasons, things are different now than they have been in years past.

Today my heart was also more tuned to the gift of Christ. As we finished the advent calendar we talked about how there is nothing we need so much as Jesus, and that if we have him and nothing else, we have enough. In the future I want to build more service and giving into this day to continue to reinforce this message and to be living more as Jesus did. We have so much more than we need, and I pray that we will all care less and less about the "stuff" of Christmas.

Not an earth-shattering post, I know, and I don't even care if anyone reads it. I just had to write about this day so I can remember the Christmas that I was more focused on Christ, more grateful to be with my family, and less cranky than ever before. Finally, a small thank-you note to my Savior who came out of the endless universe he had fashioned with his own breath into a tiny planet to breathe the same air as I. A small and hopeless sinner I am, yet his love and grace have redeemed me and set me free. Praise you, Jesus Christ! There is no one like you.

Conversation With Jay

First let me just say: I am done working at Affinity Plus!!! I can't tell you the feeling of not having any more plates spinning above my head, just waiting to drop. I will miss the people I worked with and the members who were so incredible, but not the stress. I am so excited to have a more normal life, with time to cook, time to exercise, time to come home and eat dinner and talk with my family.

Closing the branch tonight was a NIGHTMARE. I was there until 7:58pm, finishing up everything I could, trying to get the vault to balance, and finding creative places for coin bags that got left out of the main vault (oops!). My phone had rung once to my knowledge, and I knew Brian was probably wondering if I was still alive. But I didn't think they were outside in the parking lot. Until I finally walked outside. There were Bri and the kids waiting for me to take me out to celebrate at Leann Chins. What a great surprise!

After dinner Jay asked if he could hop in the car with me to talk about some things that were troubling him. Absolutely! I love it when he shares the deep stuff! Over the next 20 minutes we talked mostly about how to know what God's direction for us is and I was in awe of some of the things that kid said...

"Sometimes I wonder if God is speaking to me."

"So God doesn't care so much about 'what' we do but 'how' we do it?"

"I can look to you and dad for direction because God has put you in charge to show me what to do." (wish I'd gotten that on tape for use in a couple of years!)

"Now I know what I need to do: be shaped more and more to grow into a man who will follow God."

At a couple of points my mouth was hanging open after what he had just said--I was not putting these words in his mouth--he was coming up with this out of his own heart! I told him he has always had a sensitivity toward spiritual and theological things (I have a picture of the Trinity drawn by Jay at age 3). What a joy to sit and process with him such mysteries as the will of God, how to make decisions, and the creation of the world! I don't have all the answers, which makes me nervous sometimes. But in my heart I know it's the journeying together that will give him a firm foundation, not the black-and-white and all-too-easy answers. I pray that he will continue to wrestle with these things with us, because there is nothing better!

Thank you, Jesus, for my remarkable Jaydon Fuller! Won't it be fun to watch him grow up together?

Better Start Blogging Again

It's been a year now since I blogged. Lots of life has happened. Is anyone out there still blogging?

A Job!

Wow, it's been a long time since I've blogged! More on that later. But for now, I just have to explode because two hours ago I got my first full-time job!

I am overwhelmed by the grace and tender care of my Savior. We have come through such a valley of sadness and fear, of enormous change and the uncertainty it brings. Just a couple of months ago I didn't think we would be able to stay in our house or town. We had no idea where our paychecks would come from, where our path would lead, or how we could find insurance. My whole life was up in the air.

But here I am now, hired by a company I am so excited to work for, at a job that seems perfect for me. Brian's employment is coming together and should be nailed down soon. He's been accepted to a wonderful Marriage and Family Therapy master's program and should graduate in two years. And we get to stay in Hudson. Near family and friends and in our sweet little house.

This job is a miracle to me. I didn't know how to find something I would really love doing. Not to mention the fact that I have only worked one tiny little job since Jay was a year and a half old. I can work my forty hours in four ten-hour shifts, and in only a couple of weeks I can drop down to three days a week. The pay is good to start, has opportunities for raises, and I can get full insurance coverage for my whole family for only $120/month. Better yet, the company (a non-profit credit union) is all about relationship. My job has been described as being an advocate for my customers; I will be able to develop relationships with them and be their personal assistant for many of their financial needs. I love it! And at a point in my life where I really needed to get out and have an existence separate from my home and kiddos...I am speechless.

The cliche is true...God's timing is perfect. Rarely as quick as we'd like, but perfect nonetheless.

Forgotten Toys (Almost)

Why is it that kids start to play with a toy again only after you've just put it in the give-away pile? Seriously, they haven't looked at it for six months to a year, but just put it in the Goodwill bag and watch...it's like they have some internal radar that warns them when a toy is about to be ejected from the stadium! Their warning alarm blaring within them, they quick grab the thing, play with it like it's the best and most intriguing item on the planet for just long enough to make you feel guilty for almost having given it away. (How could you, Mom--it's my favorite!) Of course, as soon as it's safe again, the toy will lose all interest because (as you had correctly surmised in the first place) they really do have too many toys to begin with.

The moral of the story: take the give-away pile out to the curb/car/friend's house IMMEDIATELY. Don't wait, or that toy is never leaving!

Booger

Ever had a booger flicked in your eye? Yeah, well, that happened to me last week while shopping in Target with my two girls. Little Cait was sitting in the jump seat and must have been doing some extracurricular diggin', cuz without warning, a slimy chunk of goo went straight into my eye.

Not much more I can say about that. Just had to share it with all of you.

Almost There

A couple people stopped me tonight at AWANA demanding pictures of the new kitchen on my blog. And since it's been 5 weeks since I posted last, I figured I'd better give some kind of update.

It's been 12 1/2 weeks since we started gutting the kitchen and we are almost there. Two weeks ago we installed the new oven, which has rocked my world. It is so great to be able to cook eggs and boil water for veggies and pasta and even cook a large Papa Murphy's pizza without having to bug one of my neighbors. The countertops were delivered yesterday and will be installed tomorrow morning, Lord willing. And if all goes right, by the end of this week I should have a new sink, faucet, and dishwasher.

I've been learning through this process that things often don't go the way they're supposed to. I can't tell you how many times we've discovered a problem, a mistake, or had dates pushed back for one reason or another. But happily, I've noticed my stress-reaction diminishing as time has gone on. Dare I say I may have learned a bit more patience from this trial? Maybe. I guess I've come to expect the unexpected and know that if there's nothing I can do about it, then there's nothing I can do about it. Best just to be thankful for what I've got and let the other things come. God be praised if he has used this horrendously stressful three months to work in me a little more of his fruit of the Spirit!

So, pictures are coming. I'll probably wait until we've got the floor in and all the paint completed. Then I can post some great before and after shots!

Laundry Love

Sent this note to Mom tonight:

Help! I don't know what to do! All my laundry is done--DONE--all except a few things that need to be soaked in Oxy Clean. I've washed blankets, blankies, the girls' filthy coats...everything comes out smelling so good and looking really nice. There must be something else I can wash!

Too bad I can't put the kids in there. Or the couch.

Your laundry lovin' daughter,
Jen

The First Big Step Back to Normalcy

B gave the green light today to have my beautiful steam machine front-loaders delivered as soon as we pass the electrical and plumbing inspection scheduled for tomorrow. Can I get a great big "WOOT"?! After more than six weeks without laundry, over a dozen loads done at friends' or neighbor's or mom's house, and one trip to the laundromat with the girls which I swore I would NOT repeat...I will finally be able to wash our clothes in my own home again. Never thought I'd be so excited to do laundry! Maybe there will be life after this project, afterall.

Karinisms

Karin continues to make us smile with her four-year-old thoughts and words. Here are a few that have cracked me up or warmed my heart lately...

• After ordering and listening to the worker announce our total through the speaker of the Taco Johns drive-through, Karin's voice came from the back: "why does she live in that box (referring to the attendant)?"
• At a recent dinnertime the conversation turned to what our bodies will be like when Jesus returns and takes us home with him. Of primary concern for the three kids was what color we will be. Jay hopes to be golden. Ethan said he wants a golden head, but a normal everything else. And then Karin weighed in: "I want to have a dark brown body, just like Eva (her best friend, recently adopted from India)!"
• Christmas morning, as Karin enjoyed her new wooden kitchen from Mom and Dad, she suddenly informed/asked me, "I've been thinking about if God likes bacon."
• Karin's understanding of the intangible has been growing everyday, especially since she asked Jesus to be her savior earlier this fall. The other day, as I was leaving her to take her usual rest time in an unfamiliar place (we were staying with friends while our house was being worked on), I attempted to reassure her by letting her know that she would be in the room alone but I would be nearby. "But God will be with me," she replied.

In a book lent to me by a friend recently, God's Whisper in a Mother's Chaos, the author says that God "most often... uses the people around us to guide us and teach us," usually the ones we are with the most.

For me that would be my kids, and of the ones that are home all day and that talk intelligibly, that would be Karin.

I think I'll be listening a little closer...she says great stuff!

Kitchen Update

You guys have been praying... I could feel it the day after I wrote that last post! Three and a half weeks under our belts, here's the update:

The kitchen, downstairs bathroom, and pantry are completely gutted, their remains in a maxed-out 20 yard dumpster out front. I've had the silly idea of listing it on ebay as "used kitchen for sale--some assembly required". Our carpenter has finished framing the necessary walls and doorways, and by week's end we will have a brand-new back door and beautiful new windows.

Last week went a bit off-schedule when we discovered we had special ordered the wrong size door. We'd hoped Lampert's would take it back, but nope, they wouldn't. Then we figured we'd just live with a smaller door, but nope, the city of Hudson wouldn't allow it. So if you're in the market for a 2'6" exterior steel half-lite door with aluminum cladding, let me know--we'll give you a good deal.

That was a blow, and forced us to move ahead immediately with another part of the project we had decided to take on...the staircase. Those of you who have climbed my stairs know they were a deathtrap. Pretty much everyone in our house except for Brian have fallen down them at one time or another, as has my mom. They were more than 45 degrees steep and had treads only 9+ inches deep with a 2 inch lip that made them only 7+ inches deep on the way down. So, with the ceiling downstairs opened up and the staircase accessible, we decided now was the time. The day we discovered the door mistake and redirected to take out the stairs I had just over two hours to pack up the entire family and move out (with our only working bathroom on the upper level, there was no way to live here without stairs). Those two hours showed me what it would be like to be evacuated due to a natural disaster or nuclear war! Our bags packed, the Crim refugees migrated to Wade and Kara's for three days while the staircase was torn apart and rebuilt. The amazing result: a code staircase in a 100 year old house! It makes me smile.

Upstairs Jeff the carpenter also framed in a wall above the stairs in the hallway where my new washer and dryer will go. Mom told me she and my stepdad wanted to get us a new set, so soon I will be doin' laundry in style! The first time I run a load on those beautiful front-load steam machines I think I will break down and weep for joy.

Last night Brian told me he thinks we won't have a functional kitchen for another month, at which point I promptly threw down a pencil and bolted upstairs to cry. Expectations are tough to change. We worked through it and are moving on...what else can we do? There are days when I don't think I can wait one more day for this project to be over, and there are days (like today) where it just doesn't seem so bad. We have been blessed by friends who have made us meals or had us over for dinner and who have invited me over to do laundry, for which we are so thankful. Brian is carrying a lot of stress right now with the project, his other job as youth pastor, his stressed-out and intermittently crabby wife, and a sermon to preach in 10 days, so I worry about him. But we're just taking things one day at a time.

Probably more detail than anyone needed here, but that's the scoop. I know this is all going to be worth it someday. Really. But in the meantime, please keep up the prayers!

Intercession Needed

Brothers and sisters, pray for me. What small shred of sanity I may or may not have been in possession of two weeks ago is rapidly disappearing...

For a long LONG time now we have planned on renovating our kitchen. The 36 inches of countertop (not including the top of the washing machine conveniently located at the end of the counter) just didn't cut it for a family of six. Add to this that everything has been breaking down or falling apart. First it was the floor coming up. Next it was the front of the silverware drawer falling off. Then, the portable dishwasher stopped working and the door to the pantry fell off. And then one day (this one's my favorite), as I went to adjust the temperature on the oven, the knob fell off...and SHATTERED on the top of the range, thereby making it pretty difficult to tell what temp. the oven was at. It had become painfully obvious that a new kitchen was not a want, but a need.

A couple of weeks ago we decided to go for it. The carpenter (Vonda's dad) whom we were planning to do the work became available to do the project, and Brian had some time off left for the year. So, last week we spent several days gutting the existing room, right down to the studs and joists. There was paneling, then drywall, then lathe boards, then wool insulation. There were two layers of linoleum, two layers of wood floor, and then subfloor. At points the dusty debris was close to a foot high before we'd shovel it in the garbage can and wheel it to the dumpster.
Yuck!

Now we have a bare room that is starting to be slowly rebuilt. But since last Sunday when we pulled out the appliances and sink we have been without a downstairs water source, a stove, or laundry facilities (remember the conveniently located washing machine). I have set up a mock kitchen in our school room (which also has one wall gone leaving a gaping hole into the kitchen) with a microwave, toaster oven, and plastic container holding water that I use like a sink. Every morning I think of Little House on the Prairie as I "fetch" water from the bathtub upstairs.

Those of you who have kitchens realize that they are pretty important in the daily functioning of a household. And although I know it is going to be a glorious improvement when the project is done in about a month or so, I'm just pretty darn crabby about the whole thing in the meantime. At this point I am fairly certain that I will never again have a house that is in order--too many things have been shoved in too many corners to deal with later. My days are filled with researching appliances, running over to Lamperts to choose new doors and windows, phone calls to the plummer, the lumber yard, the dumpster guy. And with Christmas in only 22 more days, well, it's just a new level of crazy over here.

So if the name Jen Crim or the word kitchen comes to mind over these next few weeks, please follow the prompting of the Holy Spirit and fervently intercede on my behalf, as well as for my family, who has to live with the crazed woman without a kitchen. It's one day at a time over here, and 2009 just can't come fast enough!

No-Buy No More

Well, our 30 days of financial fast are over...yippee! It was a great experiment, and went well, overall. In the end, we managed to save about $650 total between food, household supplies, and fun money. That was enough to bring my food budget back into the black and almost my clothing budget as well. That feels great! Now as the end of the year approaches I can know that we will hit pretty close to the mark on our budgeted expenses, which makes me breathe easier.

Thirty days of different spending habits have made some differences in the way I spend now. The biggest change is in how I assess our needs vs. wants. The past month showed me that there are MANY things that really aren't needs, but rather, are wants. My family and I can get by (for awhile at least) without orange juice, Oreo's, Saturday morning donuts, raw sugar, granola bars, graham crackers, Papa Murphy's pizza, and yes, even chocolate chips. Cutting these kinds of things out saved a bundle! It is good to have a fresh appreciation for what my family truly needs.

I also learned to buy less. Use up what is in the pantry and freezer first, buy what is needed to cover the rest. I used to think I saved a lot of money by stocking up on stuff when it was on sale--enough to make it through to the next sale. And Sam's Club has been a wicked temptation in that area. It is easy to spend way past my budget with the sneaky excuse of, "but I'm saving so much!" Then, with my mounds of frozen chicken nuggets and triple packs of brownies and dozen loaves of bread in the freezer I would go through food much more quickly, figuring, "well, I've got so much of it, anyway...might as well use it up!" Buying just for one week causes you to be much more careful about the supplies that you have. I don't think I'll be going to Sam's anymore.

Thirdly, we've now switched back to a cash budget. Can't spend what's not in the envelope.

I'm glad the month is over, to be honest. It took more brain-power to figure out my meals, and I really do need a haircut. It's not fun to be too tight-wadish for too long; I'm thankful to loosen up a bit. But I probably will try to repeat this exercise once or twice a year from now on. It's just a great way to recalibrate the financial compass and get back on track. Plus, I really just like the idea of not buying so much stuff. I have too much as it is, which means that I have to spend more time taking care of it, figuring it out, repairing it, cleaning it, etc. It's good to remember that there's really not that much we need.

Except chocolate chips.

Snack Machine?

Today I found myself wondering, "are the words 'SNACK MACHINE' tattooed on my forehead?" They must be, because it seems to be the first thing that enters my kids' brains when they look at me... Mommy...FOOD! Perhaps this is just a byproduct of early infant-mother bonding through nursing, and I know they need to eat, but really--does it have to be ALL DAY? Breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, no-you-may-NOT-have-another-snack-before-dinner, dinner, dessert...One of these days, I swear, those kids are gonna come home to find sign hangin' on my nose that says, "OUT OF ORDER"!

The Freedom of Choice Act

The election is over and God, in his sovereignty, has given us a new leader. And in obedience to God's commands, I will respect and pray for Barack Obama, as all of us who are followers of Christ should. But we Christians also need to be aware of what the President Elect's expressed intentions are on the issue of legal abortion, what Randy Alcorn has called "the holocaust of our day".

I know many of us are discouraged about what we fear might come to pass under President Obama. But even he cannot bring this law to pass if we, the People, make our voices heard to our representatives and senators. Please take 30 seconds to watch this video and then go to the link in my sidebar for fightFOCA.com and sign the petition. Let's stand up together to tell our lawmakers ENOUGH!

Jay's Brain

Tonight we made homemade pizza and got National Treasure 2 with a free coupon code from Redbox. I was excited to watch this movie with the kids because we were just at Mount Rushmore a few weeks ago and it plays a prominent part in the movie. The girls were crabby and distracting so they had to go to bed by 8, but we let the boys stay up and finish the show with us.

Anyways, there's a scene towards the end when the treasure finders have just discovered the City of Gold and are busy reveling in the rich artifacts that have been buried for centuries. All of a sudden, the huge stone blocks holding back the river above them from flooding the site begin to burst apart and water starts to spray out. It was at this moment that Jay proclaims, "me and my big mind figured that was gonna happen."

Wow.

Jesus is My Friend

My friend Karen Corlew showed this to me last weekend when she was here. This is for all you out there who love rock and roll. hee hee

Half-Way

So we've passed the half-way mark of our month of no-buying and overall, things are going well. Week 2 of food was purchased for $44, still well under my goal of $60. This week I've fallen off the wagon a couple of times...groceries only came to $52 but I ran out to grab a Papa Murph's on election night and took the boys out for Wendy's on the way back from a concert at Orchestra Hall. But I've only dropped $22 in three weeks at Target, so I'm ahead now in that category.

It's actually been a nice reprieve from spending time and energy thinking about buying stuff. And I am still having fun being creative and using up old food from my cupboards. Last week I made banana cream pie (even made the crust!) and only had to buy CoolWhip to go on top. And the kids loved the almond bark-dipped pretzels I made for a snack after school. Not everything has gone well, however. The frozen dough I pulled out to make rolls for dinner tonight must have been in the freezer a bit too long...they were closer to hockey pucks than anything else.

And I do need to make one disclaimer for this whole thing: we had a freezer full of ground bison meat (thank-you Mom!) and a couple of frozen chickens, so that has helped a lot, and my Dad came into town for a week, so we got to eat out several times. My totals would be higher if not for those facts. But I am still amazed at how much I can save when I focus on eating up what I already have and not buy extra stuff not on the menu for the week. It's been a great exercise.

So, altogether I've cut our food budget shortfall in half and am now $100 in the black on household supplies (ie Target). I do notice, however, that my list of stuff to buy after the 30 days are up is starting to grow. Let's see: paint, a new computer-headset connector, fabric softener, lipstick, hair color and highlights, and oh yeah--a haircut (long overdue!). I may need a chaperone to accompany me to Target that first trip back...any volunteers?

Day 3: The First Test

If you're confused about what this post is about, check out my previous post for some context...

Today was my day to shop for the week's groceries. I spent extra time over the past few days looking through my cupboards for things we can eat up this week. Last night I finished my list and tried to calculate how much I would need to spend on my necessary supplies. I figured I could probably get it all for about $45, well under my goal of $60 (which is half what we budget to spend each week). Well, I got everything I needed and it only came to $36.26! WAHOO! Look at me and my bad self! And I didn't even set foot in Target...we all know what happens when you go there.

It will be tough to continue this level of savings as the month goes by, but right now I'm thrilled. Aldi is my best friend. But besides that, I truly did not realize how much I have in my kitchen already and how much I can do with it. The bananas on their way to mushville have now been transformed into banana bread for the kids' after school snack. And that box of cherry jell-o is dessert for tonight. It feels good to use stuff up.

Thanks to those of you who offered costumes for Jay. I think we've got a good one lined up through Pam. Jay decided he wants to be Prince Caspian, so he'll be dressed in knight regalia, thanks to Stuey. And can I just say that I love the idea of asking each other for this kind of thing? I mean, do we all have to own everything? Let's borrow more and buy less, I say! What do you guys think?