one life...One God

Ireland Beauty

2012-01-01T22:04:00.004-06:00

Back in July, Ed and Vonda, Bri and I went to Ireland. Words cannot describe the time we had or the land we saw, but perhaps some pictures can come close.

I'm not sure I'll ever feel at home anywhere else on this earth after visiting there...

Perfect Christmas

2010-12-25T21:54:00.003-06:00

Tonight I think I should blog; this is a day I want to remember. Not because it was over-the-top exciting, and not because I got any superly cool presents (although I do like my new Magic Mouse I am using as I write this!). Today was amazing instead because of how much I enjoyed the small things. The things that matter...

Bri and I slept in a bit while the kids opened stockings downstairs. When we came down, there was Lindsay, our dear "daughter" home between ministry assignments, playing a new game with the girls while the boys tried out a new video game. Christmas had arrived and they were so excited! The day was spent playing, assembling, mediating, baking, and keeping things to a manageable chaos. In all honesty, it wasn't perfect, but it was life with the ones I love and there was much joy. At times when I would come close to losing my patience with another demanding, hopped-up-on-sugar-and-presents child, I told myself that I would just let it happen and not try to control every moment. And so I didn't. On one of the most hectic and energy-sucking days of the year, there were very few cross words that came out of my mouth.

It is hard to know why things are changing. Surely a part of the reason is the ages of the kids: almost 11, 8, 6, and almost 4...life is becoming more manageable and fun. Maybe another part is now having my own life separate from home. Working has given me life I have not known as a mother and helps me appreciate so much more the time I have with my children. Perhaps I am simply realizing the brevity of life, that we don't have an unlimited store of Christmas days or any other days for that matter. I have come to see that all of life is a gift--every heartbeat, every laugh, every memory. There are no guarantees and I am so thankful for every moment. Whatever the reasons, things are different now than they have been in years past.

Today my heart was also more tuned to the gift of Christ. As we finished the advent calendar we talked about how there is nothing we need so much as Jesus, and that if we have him and nothing else, we have enough. In the future I want to build more service and giving into this day to continue to reinforce this message and to be living more as Jesus did. We have so much more than we need, and I pray that we will all care less and less about the "stuff" of Christmas.

Not an earth-shattering post, I know, and I don't even care if anyone reads it. I just had to write about this day so I can remember the Christmas that I was more focused on Christ, more grateful to be with my family, and less cranky than ever before. Finally, a small thank-you note to my Savior who came out of the endless universe he had fashioned with his own breath into a tiny planet to breathe the same air as I. A small and hopeless sinner I am, yet his love and grace have redeemed me and set me free. Praise you, Jesus Christ! There is no one like you.

Conversation With Jay

2010-08-02T23:28:00.003-05:00

First let me just say: I am done working at Affinity Plus!!! I can't tell you the feeling of not having any more plates spinning above my head, just waiting to drop. I will miss the people I worked with and the members who were so incredible, but not the stress. I am so excited to have a more normal life, with time to cook, time to exercise, time to come home and eat dinner and talk with my family.

Closing the branch tonight was a NIGHTMARE. I was there until 7:58pm, finishing up everything I could, trying to get the vault to balance, and finding creative places for coin bags that got left out of the main vault (oops!). My phone had rung once to my knowledge, and I knew Brian was probably wondering if I was still alive. But I didn't think they were outside in the parking lot. Until I finally walked outside. There were Bri and the kids waiting for me to take me out to celebrate at Leann Chins. What a great surprise!

After dinner Jay asked if he could hop in the car with me to talk about some things that were troubling him. Absolutely! I love it when he shares the deep stuff! Over the next 20 minutes we talked mostly about how to know what God's direction for us is and I was in awe of some of the things that kid said...

"Sometimes I wonder if God is speaking to me."

"So God doesn't care so much about 'what' we do but 'how' we do it?"

"I can look to you and dad for direction because God has put you in charge to show me what to do." (wish I'd gotten that on tape for use in a couple of years!)

"Now I know what I need to do: be shaped more and more to grow into a man who will follow God."

At a couple of points my mouth was hanging open after what he had just said--I was not putting these words in his mouth--he was coming up with this out of his own heart! I told him he has always had a sensitivity toward spiritual and theological things (I have a picture of the Trinity drawn by Jay at age 3). What a joy to sit and process with him such mysteries as the will of God, how to make decisions, and the creation of the world! I don't have all the answers, which makes me nervous sometimes. But in my heart I know it's the journeying together that will give him a firm foundation, not the black-and-white and all-too-easy answers. I pray that he will continue to wrestle with these things with us, because there is nothing better!

Thank you, Jesus, for my remarkable Jaydon Fuller! Won't it be fun to watch him grow up together?

Better Start Blogging Again

2010-07-19T21:09:00.003-05:00

It's been a year now since I blogged. Lots of life has happened. Is anyone out there still blogging?

A Job!

2009-07-30T16:09:00.002-05:00

Wow, it's been a long time since I've blogged! More on that later. But for now, I just have to explode because two hours ago I got my first full-time job!

I am overwhelmed by the grace and tender care of my Savior. We have come through such a valley of sadness and fear, of enormous change and the uncertainty it brings. Just a couple of months ago I didn't think we would be able to stay in our house or town. We had no idea where our paychecks would come from, where our path would lead, or how we could find insurance. My whole life was up in the air.

But here I am now, hired by a company I am so excited to work for, at a job that seems perfect for me. Brian's employment is coming together and should be nailed down soon. He's been accepted to a wonderful Marriage and Family Therapy master's program and should graduate in two years. And we get to stay in Hudson. Near family and friends and in our sweet little house.

This job is a miracle to me. I didn't know how to find something I would really love doing. Not to mention the fact that I have only worked one tiny little job since Jay was a year and a half old. I can work my forty hours in four ten-hour shifts, and in only a couple of weeks I can drop down to three days a week. The pay is good to start, has opportunities for raises, and I can get full insurance coverage for my whole family for only $120/month. Better yet, the company (a non-profit credit union) is all about relationship. My job has been described as being an advocate for my customers; I will be able to develop relationships with them and be their personal assistant for many of their financial needs. I love it! And at a point in my life where I really needed to get out and have an existence separate from my home and kiddos...I am speechless.

The cliche is true...God's timing is perfect. Rarely as quick as we'd like, but perfect nonetheless.

Forgotten Toys (Almost)

2009-03-11T21:16:00.001-05:00

Why is it that kids start to play with a toy again only after you've just put it in the give-away pile? Seriously, they haven't looked at it for six months to a year, but just put it in the Goodwill bag and watch...it's like they have some internal radar that warns them when a toy is about to be ejected from the stadium! Their warning alarm blaring within them, they quick grab the thing, play with it like it's the best and most intriguing item on the planet for just long enough to make you feel guilty for almost having given it away. (How could you, Mom--it's my favorite!) Of course, as soon as it's safe again, the toy will lose all interest because (as you had correctly surmised in the first place) they really do have too many toys to begin with.

The moral of the story: take the give-away pile out to the curb/car/friend's house IMMEDIATELY. Don't wait, or that toy is never leaving!

Booger

2009-02-24T19:09:00.002-06:00

Ever had a booger flicked in your eye? Yeah, well, that happened to me last week while shopping in Target with my two girls. Little Cait was sitting in the jump seat and must have been doing some extracurricular diggin', cuz without warning, a slimy chunk of goo went straight into my eye.

Not much more I can say about that. Just had to share it with all of you.

Almost There

2009-02-18T21:14:00.003-06:00

A couple people stopped me tonight at AWANA demanding pictures of the new kitchen on my blog. And since it's been 5 weeks since I posted last, I figured I'd better give some kind of update.

It's been 12 1/2 weeks since we started gutting the kitchen and we are almost there. Two weeks ago we installed the new oven, which has rocked my world. It is so great to be able to cook eggs and boil water for veggies and pasta and even cook a large Papa Murphy's pizza without having to bug one of my neighbors. The countertops were delivered yesterday and will be installed tomorrow morning, Lord willing. And if all goes right, by the end of this week I should have a new sink, faucet, and dishwasher.

I've been learning through this process that things often don't go the way they're supposed to. I can't tell you how many times we've discovered a problem, a mistake, or had dates pushed back for one reason or another. But happily, I've noticed my stress-reaction diminishing as time has gone on. Dare I say I may have learned a bit more patience from this trial? Maybe. I guess I've come to expect the unexpected and know that if there's nothing I can do about it, then there's nothing I can do about it. Best just to be thankful for what I've got and let the other things come. God be praised if he has used this horrendously stressful three months to work in me a little more of his fruit of the Spirit!

So, pictures are coming. I'll probably wait until we've got the floor in and all the paint completed. Then I can post some great before and after shots!

Laundry Love

2009-01-13T20:47:00.000-06:00

Sent this note to Mom tonight:

Help! I don't know what to do! All my laundry is done--DONE--all except a few things that need to be soaked in Oxy Clean. I've washed blankets, blankies, the girls' filthy coats...everything comes out smelling so good and looking really nice. There must be something else I can wash!

Too bad I can't put the kids in there. Or the couch.

Your laundry lovin' daughter,
Jen

The First Big Step Back to Normalcy

2009-01-05T14:02:00.007-06:00

B gave the green light today to have my beautiful steam machine front-loaders delivered as soon as we pass the electrical and plumbing inspection scheduled for tomorrow. Can I get a great big "WOOT"?! After more than six weeks without laundry, over a dozen loads done at friends' or neighbor's or mom's house, and one trip to the laundromat with the girls which I swore I would NOT repeat...I will finally be able to wash our clothes in my own home again. Never thought I'd be so excited to do laundry! Maybe there will be life after this project, afterall.

Karinisms

2008-12-26T22:16:00.002-06:00

Karin continues to make us smile with her four-year-old thoughts and words. Here are a few that have cracked me up or warmed my heart lately...

After ordering and listening to the worker announce our total through the speaker of the Taco Johns drive-through, Karin's voice came from the back: "why does she live in that box (referring to the attendant)?"
At a recent dinnertime the conversation turned to what our bodies will be like when Jesus returns and takes us home with him. Of primary concern for the three kids was what color we will be. Jay hopes to be golden. Ethan said he wants a golden head, but a normal everything else. And then Karin weighed in: "I want to have a dark brown body, just like Eva (her best friend, recently adopted from India)!"
Christmas morning, as Karin enjoyed her new wooden kitchen from Mom and Dad, she suddenly informed/asked me, "I've been thinking about if God likes bacon."
Karin's understanding of the intangible has been growing everyday, especially since she asked Jesus to be her savior earlier this fall. The other day, as I was leaving her to take her usual rest time in an unfamiliar place (we were staying with friends while our house was being worked on), I attempted to reassure her by letting her know that she would be in the room alone but I would be nearby. "But God will be with me," she replied.

In a book lent to me by a friend recently, God's Whisper in a Mother's Chaos, the author says that God "most often... uses the people around us to guide us and teach us," usually the ones we are with the most.

For me that would be my kids, and of the ones that are home all day and that talk intelligibly, that would be Karin.

I think I'll be listening a little closer...she says great stuff!

Kitchen Update

2008-12-17T21:05:00.003-06:00

You guys have been praying... I could feel it the day after I wrote that last post! Three and a half weeks under our belts, here's the update:

The kitchen, downstairs bathroom, and pantry are completely gutted, their remains in a maxed-out 20 yard dumpster out front. I've had the silly idea of listing it on ebay as "used kitchen for sale--some assembly required". Our carpenter has finished framing the necessary walls and doorways, and by week's end we will have a brand-new back door and beautiful new windows.

Last week went a bit off-schedule when we discovered we had special ordered the wrong size door. We'd hoped Lampert's would take it back, but nope, they wouldn't. Then we figured we'd just live with a smaller door, but nope, the city of Hudson wouldn't allow it. So if you're in the market for a 2'6" exterior steel half-lite door with aluminum cladding, let me know--we'll give you a good deal.

That was a blow, and forced us to move ahead immediately with another part of the project we had decided to take on...the staircase. Those of you who have climbed my stairs know they were a deathtrap. Pretty much everyone in our house except for Brian have fallen down them at one time or another, as has my mom. They were more than 45 degrees steep and had treads only 9+ inches deep with a 2 inch lip that made them only 7+ inches deep on the way down. So, with the ceiling downstairs opened up and the staircase accessible, we decided now was the time. The day we discovered the door mistake and redirected to take out the stairs I had just over two hours to pack up the entire family and move out (with our only working bathroom on the upper level, there was no way to live here without stairs). Those two hours showed me what it would be like to be evacuated due to a natural disaster or nuclear war! Our bags packed, the Crim refugees migrated to Wade and Kara's for three days while the staircase was torn apart and rebuilt. The amazing result: a code staircase in a 100 year old house! It makes me smile.

Upstairs Jeff the carpenter also framed in a wall above the stairs in the hallway where my new washer and dryer will go. Mom told me she and my stepdad wanted to get us a new set, so soon I will be doin' laundry in style! The first time I run a load on those beautiful front-load steam machines I think I will break down and weep for joy.

Last night Brian told me he thinks we won't have a functional kitchen for another month, at which point I promptly threw down a pencil and bolted upstairs to cry. Expectations are tough to change. We worked through it and are moving on...what else can we do? There are days when I don't think I can wait one more day for this project to be over, and there are days (like today) where it just doesn't seem so bad. We have been blessed by friends who have made us meals or had us over for dinner and who have invited me over to do laundry, for which we are so thankful. Brian is carrying a lot of stress right now with the project, his other job as youth pastor, his stressed-out and intermittently crabby wife, and a sermon to preach in 10 days, so I worry about him. But we're just taking things one day at a time.

Probably more detail than anyone needed here, but that's the scoop. I know this is all going to be worth it someday. Really. But in the meantime, please keep up the prayers!

Intercession Needed

2008-12-03T23:43:00.004-06:00

Brothers and sisters, pray for me. What small shred of sanity I may or may not have been in possession of two weeks ago is rapidly disappearing...

For a long LONG time now we have planned on renovating our kitchen. The 36 inches of countertop (not including the top of the washing machine conveniently located at the end of the counter) just didn't cut it for a family of six. Add to this that everything has been breaking down or falling apart. First it was the floor coming up. Next it was the front of the silverware drawer falling off. Then, the portable dishwasher stopped working and the door to the pantry fell off. And then one day (this one's my favorite), as I went to adjust the temperature on the oven, the knob fell off...and SHATTERED on the top of the range, thereby making it pretty difficult to tell what temp. the oven was at. It had become painfully obvious that a new kitchen was not a want, but a need.

A couple of weeks ago we decided to go for it. The carpenter (Vonda's dad) whom we were planning to do the work became available to do the project, and Brian had some time off left for the year. So, last week we spent several days gutting the existing room, right down to the studs and joists. There was paneling, then drywall, then lathe boards, then wool insulation. There were two layers of linoleum, two layers of wood floor, and then subfloor. At points the dusty debris was close to a foot high before we'd shovel it in the garbage can and wheel it to the dumpster.
Yuck!

Now we have a bare room that is starting to be slowly rebuilt. But since last Sunday when we pulled out the appliances and sink we have been without a downstairs water source, a stove, or laundry facilities (remember the conveniently located washing machine). I have set up a mock kitchen in our school room (which also has one wall gone leaving a gaping hole into the kitchen) with a microwave, toaster oven, and plastic container holding water that I use like a sink. Every morning I think of Little House on the Prairie as I "fetch" water from the bathtub upstairs.

Those of you who have kitchens realize that they are pretty important in the daily functioning of a household. And although I know it is going to be a glorious improvement when the project is done in about a month or so, I'm just pretty darn crabby about the whole thing in the meantime. At this point I am fairly certain that I will never again have a house that is in order--too many things have been shoved in too many corners to deal with later. My days are filled with researching appliances, running over to Lamperts to choose new doors and windows, phone calls to the plummer, the lumber yard, the dumpster guy. And with Christmas in only 22 more days, well, it's just a new level of crazy over here.

So if the name Jen Crim or the word kitchen comes to mind over these next few weeks, please follow the prompting of the Holy Spirit and fervently intercede on my behalf, as well as for my family, who has to live with the crazed woman without a kitchen. It's one day at a time over here, and 2009 just can't come fast enough!

No-Buy No More

2008-11-25T16:03:00.004-06:00

Well, our 30 days of financial fast are over...yippee! It was a great experiment, and went well, overall. In the end, we managed to save about $650 total between food, household supplies, and fun money. That was enough to bring my food budget back into the black and almost my clothing budget as well. That feels great! Now as the end of the year approaches I can know that we will hit pretty close to the mark on our budgeted expenses, which makes me breathe easier.

Thirty days of different spending habits have made some differences in the way I spend now. The biggest change is in how I assess our needs vs. wants. The past month showed me that there are MANY things that really aren't needs, but rather, are wants. My family and I can get by (for awhile at least) without orange juice, Oreo's, Saturday morning donuts, raw sugar, granola bars, graham crackers, Papa Murphy's pizza, and yes, even chocolate chips. Cutting these kinds of things out saved a bundle! It is good to have a fresh appreciation for what my family truly needs.

I also learned to buy less. Use up what is in the pantry and freezer first, buy what is needed to cover the rest. I used to think I saved a lot of money by stocking up on stuff when it was on sale--enough to make it through to the next sale. And Sam's Club has been a wicked temptation in that area. It is easy to spend way past my budget with the sneaky excuse of, "but I'm saving so much!" Then, with my mounds of frozen chicken nuggets and triple packs of brownies and dozen loaves of bread in the freezer I would go through food much more quickly, figuring, "well, I've got so much of it, anyway...might as well use it up!" Buying just for one week causes you to be much more careful about the supplies that you have. I don't think I'll be going to Sam's anymore.

Thirdly, we've now switched back to a cash budget. Can't spend what's not in the envelope.

I'm glad the month is over, to be honest. It took more brain-power to figure out my meals, and I really do need a haircut. It's not fun to be too tight-wadish for too long; I'm thankful to loosen up a bit. But I probably will try to repeat this exercise once or twice a year from now on. It's just a great way to recalibrate the financial compass and get back on track. Plus, I really just like the idea of not buying so much stuff. I have too much as it is, which means that I have to spend more time taking care of it, figuring it out, repairing it, cleaning it, etc. It's good to remember that there's really not that much we need.

Except chocolate chips.

Snack Machine?

2008-11-16T16:13:00.001-06:00

Today I found myself wondering, "are the words 'SNACK MACHINE' tattooed on my forehead?" They must be, because it seems to be the first thing that enters my kids' brains when they look at me... Mommy...FOOD! Perhaps this is just a byproduct of early infant-mother bonding through nursing, and I know they need to eat, but really--does it have to be ALL DAY? Breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, no-you-may-NOT-have-another-snack-before-dinner, dinner, dessert...One of these days, I swear, those kids are gonna come home to find sign hangin' on my nose that says, "OUT OF ORDER"!

The Freedom of Choice Act

2008-11-11T12:15:00.005-06:00

The election is over and God, in his sovereignty, has given us a new leader. And in obedience to God's commands, I will respect and pray for Barack Obama, as all of us who are followers of Christ should. But we Christians also need to be aware of what the President Elect's expressed intentions are on the issue of legal abortion, what Randy Alcorn has called "the holocaust of our day".

I know many of us are discouraged about what we fear might come to pass under President Obama. But even he cannot bring this law to pass if we, the People, make our voices heard to our representatives and senators. Please take 30 seconds to watch this video and then go to the link in my sidebar for fightFOCA.com and sign the petition. Let's stand up together to tell our lawmakers ENOUGH!

Jay's Brain

2008-11-08T22:36:00.002-06:00

Tonight we made homemade pizza and got National Treasure 2 with a free coupon code from Redbox. I was excited to watch this movie with the kids because we were just at Mount Rushmore a few weeks ago and it plays a prominent part in the movie. The girls were crabby and distracting so they had to go to bed by 8, but we let the boys stay up and finish the show with us.

Anyways, there's a scene towards the end when the treasure finders have just discovered the City of Gold and are busy reveling in the rich artifacts that have been buried for centuries. All of a sudden, the huge stone blocks holding back the river above them from flooding the site begin to burst apart and water starts to spray out. It was at this moment that Jay proclaims, "me and my big mind figured that was gonna happen."

Wow.

Jesus is My Friend

2008-11-07T09:12:00.003-06:00

My friend Karen Corlew showed this to me last weekend when she was here. This is for all you out there who love rock and roll. hee hee

Half-Way

2008-11-06T20:56:00.004-06:00

So we've passed the half-way mark of our month of no-buying and overall, things are going well. Week 2 of food was purchased for $44, still well under my goal of $60. This week I've fallen off the wagon a couple of times...groceries only came to $52 but I ran out to grab a Papa Murph's on election night and took the boys out for Wendy's on the way back from a concert at Orchestra Hall. But I've only dropped $22 in three weeks at Target, so I'm ahead now in that category.

It's actually been a nice reprieve from spending time and energy thinking about buying stuff. And I am still having fun being creative and using up old food from my cupboards. Last week I made banana cream pie (even made the crust!) and only had to buy CoolWhip to go on top. And the kids loved the almond bark-dipped pretzels I made for a snack after school. Not everything has gone well, however. The frozen dough I pulled out to make rolls for dinner tonight must have been in the freezer a bit too long...they were closer to hockey pucks than anything else.

And I do need to make one disclaimer for this whole thing: we had a freezer full of ground bison meat (thank-you Mom!) and a couple of frozen chickens, so that has helped a lot, and my Dad came into town for a week, so we got to eat out several times. My totals would be higher if not for those facts. But I am still amazed at how much I can save when I focus on eating up what I already have and not buy extra stuff not on the menu for the week. It's been a great exercise.

So, altogether I've cut our food budget shortfall in half and am now $100 in the black on household supplies (ie Target). I do notice, however, that my list of stuff to buy after the 30 days are up is starting to grow. Let's see: paint, a new computer-headset connector, fabric softener, lipstick, hair color and highlights, and oh yeah--a haircut (long overdue!). I may need a chaperone to accompany me to Target that first trip back...any volunteers?

Day 3: The First Test

2008-10-21T14:46:00.006-05:00

If you're confused about what this post is about, check out my previous post for some context...

Today was my day to shop for the week's groceries. I spent extra time over the past few days looking through my cupboards for things we can eat up this week. Last night I finished my list and tried to calculate how much I would need to spend on my necessary supplies. I figured I could probably get it all for about $45, well under my goal of $60 (which is half what we budget to spend each week). Well, I got everything I needed and it only came to $36.26! WAHOO! Look at me and my bad self! And I didn't even set foot in Target...we all know what happens when you go there.

It will be tough to continue this level of savings as the month goes by, but right now I'm thrilled. Aldi is my best friend. But besides that, I truly did not realize how much I have in my kitchen already and how much I can do with it. The bananas on their way to mushville have now been transformed into banana bread for the kids' after school snack. And that box of cherry jell-o is dessert for tonight. It feels good to use stuff up.

Thanks to those of you who offered costumes for Jay. I think we've got a good one lined up through Pam. Jay decided he wants to be Prince Caspian, so he'll be dressed in knight regalia, thanks to Stuey. And can I just say that I love the idea of asking each other for this kind of thing? I mean, do we all have to own everything? Let's borrow more and buy less, I say! What do you guys think?

30-Day No Buy Challenge

2008-10-18T20:45:00.004-05:00

Tomorrow we are officially starting our 30-Day No Buy Challenge. I read about this concept in the Reader's Digest in an article by a man who came out of Target one time having almost spent $300 on a whole bunch of stuff he really didn't need (his list: "packs of underwear, bath mats, barbecue gear, Spider-Man toys, kitchen gadgets, and a plug-in thingy guaranteed to kill mosquitos." He abandoned the cart and left). This guy went home and drew up rules for his family to follow as they resolved to not buy anything for 30 days. They could only buy absolute essentials, capped their grocery budget to allow for the basics like fresh fruit and milk, paid their mortgage, utilities, and tuition for their son's preschool, and said no to everything else. Even gasoline.

For a month they had to get creative. They biked around town, went to Costco to eat free samples for fun (his fun, not mine), borrowed DVDs from the library, made french toast from stale bread, fixed their own clogged shower drain with Dawn and boiling water, and ate up what was in the cupboard. In the end, they saved over $2000 and learned some valuable lessons about life and money!

When I read this story, I was inspired. I like this idea. Even though I consider us to be a very frugal family, I still have a mindset that immediately jumps to purchasing things--both needs and merely wants. My cupboards are full, but I always think they're empty. I have little bottles of travel-size shampoo, yet I immediately buy a brand-new big bottle when my current favorite runs out. We spend $10 a month on a DVD rental subscription when they are free at the library and Redbox sends out free coupon codes every Monday. The list could go on and on, and it's because of some of these habits that several of our categories in our budget are far into the red.

So we're going to do it. No trips to Target, no Blockbuster subscription. I plan on limiting us to half of our usual food budget for those absolute essentials, but otherwise, I'm going through the cupboard to see what I can find. I just found a recipe for lentils and rice on supercook.com, so that's one meal for next week. And that box of cherry jello that has been sitting on the top shelf for eons doesn't have much longer to sit there. With Halloween coming up I usually budget $25 for costumes and candy, but we already have 3 costumes figured out, so that just leaves Jay's, which reminds me...does anyone have a good costume for an 8-year-old that we could borrow? I hope to eek out about $800 out of the month and catch up on those areas that are behind. Maybe even save a little, which isn't a bad idea these days!

So here we go! I'll post anything interesting that I learn along the way. If any of you want to join us in our experiment, it would be fun to trade ideas and figure out how much we save in the end. I'm kind of excited...it'll be kind of a game to figure out how cheap we can be, and a good lesson for our kids to not be able to get the little things they've come to expect, like donuts and Papa Murphy's on Saturdays. Maybe I won't be singing the same tune in a few weeks, but oh well. You can do anything for 30 days.

p.s. I'll be putting thrifty living websites over in the sidebar under "No Buy Challenge Links". Check 'em out!

Karin's Faith

2008-10-15T20:45:00.004-05:00

My little girl became a follower of Jesus today. We've been talking about her Cubbies verses lately. Verses like Romans 3:23, "all have sinned," and Romans 5:8, "while we were sinners, Christ died for us." Yesterday as we reviewed them I told Karin what it meant that Jesus had saved us. I asked her if she's ever sinned. She said yes--that she'd kicked her brother. I told her that the punishment for her sin is Hell. But then I explained that Jesus came and died so she could go to Heaven instead--if she said she was sorry for her sins and asked him to be her Savior. If she ever wanted to do so that I said I would help her. Then I waited to see if she would take the opportunity... but she went on to something else.

But then today she and I were just sitting down for our gourmet lunch of chicken nuggets when out of the blue she stated, "we should pray and ask God about being the Savior" (or something along those lines). Once I figured out what she meant we talked it through a bit more and she repeated after me in a 4-year-old's prayer of confession and faith. So simple. So beautiful. It was like seeing a lightbulb go on in her heart and a new life born.

As I said after Ethan prayed to receive Christ, I know this is not the end, but only the beginning. Her tender faith must be nurtured, prayed for, and encouraged in order for it to grow and be strong and sure. Salvation is not a once-in-a-lifetime event. It is a life-consuming reality. But today was Karin's first step of the journey, and by God's grace, I believe I will be spending eternity alongside my sweet daughter--and now, my sister in Christ.

All thanks and praise to our gracious God who grants the miracle of faith to even the smallest of children!

"...I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents." --Luke 15:10

Live By Technology, Die By Technology

2008-10-14T20:40:00.002-05:00

I hate computers today. For the second time in as many weeks I have completely WASTED two hours of my day in a failed attempt at burning my digital videos from my computer onto a DVD. I've been using the Nero software my dad put on my computer, and it seems to have a glitch that I don't know how to get around and which requires that I start over from scratch each time. Shouldn't be that big a deal, but my machine is so full that I can't even load my pics from our Black Hills trip on there until I clear off some videos. ARRRGHHH!

Sorry to make you listen to my venting. Anybody know of a better program to use? Or a sledgehammer I can borrow?

Oct. 1, 1943

2008-10-01T22:47:00.004-05:00

Sixty-five years ago today my grandparents were married (their wedding photo is below). Oh, I miss them so much. Hopefully tonight they are celebrating together in style!

I love you so much, PaPa and Gramma. Thank-you for your legacy of committed love for one another and your love for your kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids. We will never ever forget you.

Love forever, your Jenzo

Don't You Hate It When This Happens?

2008-09-19T20:32:00.002-05:00

When we can't get a sitter to watch the kids and/or have no money to go out anyway, we sit and watch Youtube pranks. Brian is mental for them. This one's good for a laugh. Oh, and watch for Erin D's cameo role.

So This is What It's Like to Breathe

2008-09-10T13:48:00.004-05:00

Many of you have been asking how our transition to public school life has been going... thank you for your love and concern! I have felt so supported and encouraged by your comments. Here is the update...

Day 7 of school and we are doing great! The boys really like their teachers, are doing good work, and think hot lunch is awesome. We are getting into the routine of this new life: walk to school, get things done, lunch, rest, pick up boys, snack, dinner, homework, bed. There is starting to form a rhythm to our lives.

But most of all, I notice that I am breathing again.

How to describe the shift? I am not racing around, hurried, bitter, and crabby, trying to do more in a slot of time than is physically possible; instead, I slip upstairs to fold laundry in peace as the girls watch Ernie and Bert. Every minute is not accounted for; there is margin. A huge burden of responsibility has been lifted from my shoulders, and the lightness is wonderful. At the end of the day I can actually go to bed--early--because I am not so harried and desperate for a few minutes of downtime and dreading the start of the next day. I have time to read my Bible. Yesterday we were able to go scoop up little Gumpy (Kara's Nathan) while she laid at home pregnant with the stomach flu and take him to the park with us; we were able to help a friend--something I have had no time to do for awhile. Karin revels in how she gets to be the only one at home helping Mom make snack or dessert for later, and she happily sits and licks the mixing spoon. And I look forward to seeing my sweet boys' faces when they come home from school; we spend the rest of the evening asking questions of each other, anxious to hear about one another's day.

I have an inner calmness and at the same time a giddy excitement for this newfound existence. Truly a marked difference from just two months ago!

Still there remains for me a sadness, though. I miss homeschooling--the good parts. When the boys can't remember details of their experiences or what they learned at school, I am sad. I want to talk with them about those things, carry on the discussion of historical events and scientific truths. I want to point to other things that we see and remind them how they relate to what they are learning, but I am limited by the separation between us and the fact that I am not the one teaching them during the day. This is one of the great advantages of homeschooling: the opportunity to turn all of life into learning, the ability to weave it all together, and I dearly miss it. Having seen the beauty of homeschooling, I feel a bit cursed. Though I am overwhelmingly grateful for the reprieve and the chance to be sane again, I will always know what I am missing while they are in public school.

But at the same time, I can choose to focus on what our family has gained and my renewed joy and enthusiasm for life. I see so much good and healthy fruit from this change, and at times I wondered why I pushed myself so hard for so long. Why do we sometimes think that we have to do it all?

If I sound like I'm a bit torn, I am. But even when the doubts and sadness surface, when I question whether this was the right way to go, I always end up answering yes. I know this is the way God has sent us this year, so I will thank Him and trust Him for all of it.

Almost 4

2008-08-27T14:07:00.002-05:00

I love 4-year-olds, and my Totty is going to be one soon. When 4-year-olds speak they are the perfect blend of baby-cuteness and big-kid-sophistication.

Like this afternoon, when I was getting Karin down for her rest time, but before leaving I gave her one last tickle. And she said, "Mom, don't. I have enough tickling in my life."

Well then.

Not-So-Fresh and Natural

2008-08-25T08:59:00.002-05:00

Seems I need to put pants on my babers when I lay her down to bed at night from now on. That's because this morning she decided to remove her diaper before her parental units were awake...and then pee on her bed.

Lesson learned.

Big Changes

2008-07-25T22:29:00.008-05:00

Big changes at the Crim house. And before any of you baby-crazy people out there go nuts, NO, I AM NOT PREGNANT! I'll leave that job up to Prego Prestrud. Four is as far as this party barge goes, and no farther, Lord willing.

But a mighty shift in our family has occured, and those of you who know us well will understand how mighty it is... the boys are going to public school.

What a journey this has been! For three years now I have schooled sweet Jay, and last year both he and Ethan, and all the while I have become more convinced that it was what we needed to do. Homeschooling is wonderful--the time with your child, the ability to see the lightbulbs go on inside their little minds, the ample opportunities to process life and faith...the list could go on and on. I have been one of homeschooling's loudest cheerleaders, and will continue to be. Though it is not God's plan for everyone, I believe in it. And by God's grace, we will come back to it.

But when a mom goes so far into her duties of mothering, homemaking, and schooling that she begins to spiral downward into depression, anger, and hopelessness; when her thoughts begin to turn dark and she wonders if her children would be better off without her; when she realizes that most of her interaction with her children is tainted by irritation, anger, resentment, scolding, and anxiety; and when the thought of starting school in one month causes her to crawl into the fetal position...it may be time to lay the mantle of homeschooling down for a season.

Since May I have been begging God to show up in this department. Knowing that I was overwhelmed in every sense of the word, exhausted and beyond tapped out, I cried out for Him to lead, to restore me. But for 2 months now I have felt no answer--no bolt of renewed energy or determination and no release to give up yet. And as the weeks have ticked by, aware that my depression was not lifting despite the break from school, I began to become more concerned that indeed there would be no great change in the time needed. In fact, the darkness was just growing deeper.

Then came Wednesday, when God released me into a new path. The night before I had sat on my bed, crying, journaling, and begging God to deliver me from my melancholy. I now knew that something big needed to change, but asked God to show me what. The next day I ended up going over to a friend's house who, in the course of our time together, expressed to me her concern over my current state and my stubborn refusal to let go of homeschooling. She warned me not to let it become bondage and had many other good things to say. As I pondered her words and my response in my heart, I came to a point of clarity I have long been missing. The change I needed was to let my children go to school and take a time to rest. And what was before a completely unthinkable idea, suddenly was a sweet answer from the One who never forgets to answer--in His time. I knew I was free to follow a different path, and with His blessing.

Brian and I spoke the next night. It was not an easy decision for him, either, and ultimately, it was his to make. As the leader of our home, I must follow him, but I did my best to clearly explain to him my desperation and the depth of my certainty that this was the only option. He did not give his assent immediately, but over the course of the next two days and several conversations, he slowly came to agree and gave me the green light to move forward.

An enormous weight has been lifted from my chest. Along with all the many emotions I am currently feeling--sadness, excitement, uncertainty, and some fear--is the predominant feeling of relief. A new life has been given to me, and a new life is just beginning for our family--an adventure we have not yet experienced. It is hard to express my sense of relief--it is too great for words. I have hope again!

The boys took it like I thought they would: Jay cried and Ethan cried because Jay cried and then said he was excited for recess. My tender-hearted Jay expressed his sadness at not being home, and his shock at the sudden change. But by tonight at bedtime, after listening to our neighbor Lucy (who also attends Jay and Ethan's new school) about all of the fun, interesting, and delicious things that await them this year, they were both expressing their enthusiasm. Ethan wants to start tomorrow. It will be an adjustment, I know. But we will go through it together...because this Momma--as worn out as she is right now--wants nothing more than to walk this road together with her beautiful children, trusting in our gracious God to care for them when she is not by their side. I am scared about this. It is all so new for me. Will He remind them of what is right when they are tempted to choose the wrong? Will He encourage their hearts and hold them close when they are confused or scared? Of course we will do these things when they come home to us in the afternoon, but it is difficult to let them go where I will not be all the time.

So, that's it for now. I'm sure there will be more. I know our decision may be disappointing to some of you. I pray it will not be discouraging. But for those of you out there who love us and feel led, could I ask you to please give me a call sometime over the next few weeks as we settle into this new course...to remind me that God is big, that He will be with my precious boys, and that I can trust His hand? I would so appreciate the encouragement and support of my friends during this tough--and wonderful--transition.

Thanks for listening.

False Alarms

2008-07-18T14:58:00.003-05:00

The sirens went off here on Tuesday three times. No, there were no planes bombing the metropolis of Hudson; no, there were no tornadoes, or even wall clouds. Actually, there was blue sky peaking out from the clouds, and not one drop of rain fell all day.

When I was a kid, if the siren sounded you threw your body headlong for the basement because there was a tornado on top of your house. Now when they go off I find myself tuning them out, knowing that most likely it is only a severe thunderstorm, somewhere in St. Croix county. Thus the three sirens on Tuesday: all were storms up near the northern border of our expansive county, near New Richmond.

When this really irks me is at 3am when the ear-splitting ghoulish wail wakes up parents and children alike, sending the house into fear-induced insomnia. For a thunderstorm in New Richmond!

Beyond the annoyance of the excessive alarms is my fear that someday, when it really matters (ie when a tornado really is on top of my or your house), we might not listen. As in the story about the boy who cried "wolf!", will we just assume all is well when it really isn't, because we have heard the false cry of danger too many times? Hope not. But I keep thinking that we should go back to the "old days" when the siren sounded for actual tornado warnings, not just dime-sized hail and a little wind, and definitely not for a town that's 20 miles away!

I feel like Andy Rooney.

Into Everything

2008-07-12T00:03:00.009-05:00

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

My Cait turned 18 months old today. Officially, this means she is no longer a baby. Whatever...she's my last, so therefore she will always be my baby.

Being 18 months she is also into EVERYTHING! I'd spell that with periods after every letter, but then it would be really long. Anyways, by everything I mean: the silverware drawer, the kleenex box, the computer keyboard (by the way, can anyone tell me how to get my start menu back to the bottom?), whatever is on a counter and therefore not for her to play with, leftover cups of water, pop cans, the garbage can, the drawer in the hutch that none of my other kids ever got into, the paperclip container in the drawer in the hutch that none of my other kids ever got into, the cabinet with lots of glass stuff in it, the sink, and my personal favorite...the toilet.

This little girl loves to play with water. So, if I'm not careful or if someone else in the house is not careful (and there is always someone in the house who is not careful) and the door to the bathroom is left open...we have a problem. For awhile it was enough to just keep the lid shut, but no longer; figured that one out. Now she just makes a bee line to the toilet, lifts the lid, and begins to swish away. Sometimes it's after someone flushed, sometimes not. Gross, right? Well, just wait, it gets better.

The day after we arrived at the lakehouse in Indiana I was in the upstairs bathroom getting ready. Cait was in there with me and I think another of my chitlins too, because I was distracted for a femtosecond. When I looked up I saw her next to the toilet, already mid lift-and-splash. I started moving towards her, and though I was mere feet away, I could not reach her before that little pigtailed vixen, knowing the party was over, got in one last quick little splash and then hurried to LICK HER TOILET WATER-COVERED HAND! And no, the previous user had not flushed. AAAACCKKKK! I kid you not; you couldn't make this stuff up.

So, there you have it. My eldest son ate Holsteen's dog's poop, my secondborn ate his own, and my baby is a pee-licker. How's that for mommy honesty?

5K #4

2008-07-05T14:56:00.004-05:00

Got up this morning to run the Syracuse 5K with my sister-in-law Cheryl. My heart was just not in it, though, and as we started up the first hill, I considered dropping out. Running lately has been a mild form of torture for me...something akin to 30 minutes of labor. Every time I start making some progress, I get sick with some virus and lose a week or more of training. So, with only 3 full 3.3 mi. practice runs before the race, I wasn't exactly in great form.

Not only that, but last night I was awakened at 4am by a little girl who couldn't find her sleeping bag and a little boy who also had an issue. The latter took quite a bit of time to remedy, so by the time I was back in bed, I couldn't quite get back to sleep very well. Result: one groggy chica this morning!

After the first mile, though, things started to get easier. Cheryl was way out ahead of me, so I had to talk to other people. That helped and I slogged ahead, reminding myself of parts of Heb. 12:1-3 as I went...

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus and run with perserverance the race marked out for us...

Perserverance. That's what it was all about this morning. Just keep going. Seems like that defines my life these days as well. So many good analogies in running!

Things got easier as I went, and pretty soon I was rounding the final corner. Then I heard my kids yelling for me and jumping up and down, and I sprinted for the line. My goal was just to finish today, but I ended up shaving over a minute off my time from last year. Still not as fast as my first race when Jack-rabbit Vonda just about made me puke from our competitive little run together! But respectable, at least.

All in all, it was fun to run and a good feeling to finish another race. Cheryl finished a full minute-plus before me, with her best time yet (yay!). And I've been reminded once again of the need to just put one foot in front of the other and run with perserverance.

Anyone up for a 10K with me this Fall?

My Heart's in India

2008-07-01T16:14:00.002-05:00

I'm in Indiana-
-but I can't stop thinking about India.
Like a friend attending a birth,
Watching and waiting as the baby slowly comes.
She's almost here;
So near, the wait is almost over...

She Wants to Be Just Like Her...

2008-06-23T17:11:00.002-05:00

The other day Totty and I were on the way home from somewhere, just her and me. I was daydreaming about something, so I didn't catch what she was saying until a few seconds later. But this is what I heard:

"I'm stawtin' to det haiw on my legs...like my Daddy. Pwetty soon I'll have lots of haiw on my legs and den I'll be just-like-my-Daddy."

My 100th post, by the way! Woot-woo!

Reading "The Funnies"

2008-05-19T22:56:00.011-05:00

A couple of articles in this week's Hudson Star Observer caught my eye...

(Left) At first I thought this one was a joke, but then I read on and learned that it is simply scary beyond reason. Click on the article to read the highlighted line.

And this one's for you, Wade Prestrud...I'm glad you've found a new hobby!

Going Raw

2008-05-14T15:42:00.005-05:00

So, as I said before, we eat a lot of fruit. And we're getting back to eating smoothies in the morning in our attempt to eat a bit more healthily.

But that's not what this post is about. I couldn't resist Martha's idea for the title after all the raw-foods hub-bub from our last Latte. No--this story has nothing to do with juicing, but another sort of "raw".

First, a bit of background... Remember this past winter when Jay slipped on the mysterious patch of ice that had formed in the corner of our yard, next to the city's retaining wall? He and Karin had been playing on that ice when she began to slip, he jumped to save her, his face landed on a tree trunk, and his lips were torn apart at the corner. Five stitches and a thousand dollar ER visit. And where did that ice come from, anyway?

Jump forward to springtime. The snow has melted. The strange ice is gone. But now there is a shiny dark trail running up the hill from the spot the ice had once been. I walk up to try to figure this puzzle out, but come to no conclusions except that the slick looks disgustingly slimy.

Weeks later. A nasty smell wafts outside in the evening hours. "It must be those bags of leaves we left out all winter," I tell Brian. "No," he replies. "That smell is foul."

A few nights later. I am cleaning the garage last Wednesday evening as Brian is at STAND. All of a sudden, I hear the sound of trickling water. I decide to follow my ears and walk down the driveway toward the street, a sneaking suspicion culminating into dumbfounded revelation...the sound is coming from the place where the ice was which is where the slick is which is what is smelling so foul which IS BECAUSE THERE IS RAW SEWAGE FLOWING ONTO MY PROPERTY! "Nice," I mutter to myself as I turn to walk back to the garage.

Next morning. As I return from my run a truck pulls up from the city. I hadn't called the city yet...someone else must have smelled the odor. I inform the really nice man of the situation. He nods. Apparently, a sewer line runs down from the hill and was ruptured by tree roots. Thus the shiny, slimy, dark, smelly, line that once was frozen and led to my son's facial trauma.

Wonderful. My kids have been playing in our neighbors' pee and poo all winter.

It's all fixed now. The shiny blackness is turning into a dull grayness...Should have some lush growth along there this summer, I would imagine.

Crims Gone Fruity

2008-04-04T16:57:00.005-05:00

Over the past couple of years we have been gradually making changes in how we eat in the Crim household, but I was amazed the other night when I realized that we had consumed 26 lbs. of fruit in ONE WEEK! Yep, you read that right... 6+ lbs. of apples, 10 lbs. of oranges, 3 lbs. of pears, 2 lbs. of grapes, and 5 lbs. of bananas!

Not bad, eh?

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Witnessing, Ethan Syle?

2008-03-27T15:48:00.005-05:00

This morning I was getting the kids and myself ready to go on a fieldtrip at the nature center. As I finished fixing the girls' hair Karin remarked, "there! Now we look perfect!" Ethan picked up on this catch-word and quickly rebuffed her: "Karin, you are not perfect. No one is." I shot him a quick "quit trying to start something!" look and bounded up the stairs to brush my teeth.

What I heard next cracked me up. Not to be silenced, Totty began prancing around the room singing/boasting/taunting, "I am perfect. I am perfect," which drove Ethan bonkers. As she continued to sing, he continued to argue the point, until finally he launched his grand rebuke...

"Karin, if you want to go to Heaven with us, you have to say that you're not perfect, cuz if you say that you're perfect, you're going to go to Hell and that would be scary." I winced, then laughed.

So...what to work on first...? Karin's lack of humility or Ethan's lack of tact?

Longing for Home

2008-03-16T20:35:00.004-05:00

In my earlier years I never longed for Christ's return. Actually, just the opposite. But as I grow older and experience more of life, with all it's sorrows, disappointments, and pain, and as I experience more of Christ, with all His love, fulfillment, and joy, I find myself yearning more and more deeply for my true home.

Not too long ago, I was reading one of the final chapters of Desiring God by John Piper. He ended his chapter on "The Rebirth of Creation" with a poem he wrote years ago, vividly portraying a glimpse of the new earth.

As I read this poem, I had a pretty surreal experience. It was as if I was there, stepping foot on the new earth, watching the victorious Jesus, taking my first breaths of eternity. And for a moment, this world that we live in now was only a distant memory, like a dream. All of its years of burdens, grief, and waiting, seemed so small and far away, swallowed up in "the life that is truly life" (I Tim. 6:19). I was home.

Porter's sermon this morning reminded me of that poem and my experience. He quoted 2Pet. 3:8-10 to remind us that God is not slow in His return, that His perspective on time is different than ours, that He has a plan--the salvation of more brothers and sisters--that He is bringing about and waiting to see completed, that the Day WILL COME--just as the creation of the universe and the destruction of the earth by flood came so long ago.

To me all of this was deeply comforting. Oh, when will our rest come? When will our faith be made sight? When will everything be made right and our hearts finally purified of every sin? I long for this! Come, Lord Jesus!

Today's sermon was also motivating. There are more people whom I want to spend eternity with...neighbors, family, Hudsonites, strangers... "You have today," Porter said, "but you may not have tomorrow." Lord, may my eyes not be half-closed as I wait for your return. Help me use today to reach out and point others to You!

Piper's poem is below. May the Lord use it to speak to your heart as well.

JUSTIFIED FOR EVERMORE, by John Piper

As far as any eye could see
There was no green. But every tree
Was cinder black, and all the ground
Was gray with ash. The only sound
Was arid wind, like spirits' ghosts,
Gasping for some living hosts
In which to dwell, as in the days
Of evil men, before the blaze
Of unimaginable fire
Had made the earth a flaming pyre
For God's omnipotent display
Of holy rage.

The dreadful Day
Of God had come. The moon had turned
To blood. The sun no longer burned
Above, but, blazing with desire,
Had flowed into a lake of fire.
The seas and oceans were no more,
And in their place a desert floor
Fell deep to meet the brazen skies,
And silence conquered distant cries.

The Lord stood still above the air.
His mighty arms were moist and bare.
They hung, as weary, by his side,
Until the human blood had dried
Upon the sword in his right hand.
He stared across the blackened land
That he had made, and where he died.
His lips were tight, and deep inside,
The mystery of sovereign will
Gave leave, and it began to spill
In tears upon his bloody sword
For one last time.

And then the Lord
Wiped every tear away, and turned
To see his bride. Her heart had yearned
Four thousand years for this: His face
Shone like the sun, and every trace
Of wrath was gone. And in her bliss
She heard the Master say, "Watch this:
Come forth, all goodness from the ground,
Come forth, and let the earth redound
With joy."

And as he spoke, the throne
Of God came down to earth and shone
Like golden crystal full of light,
And banished, once for all, the night.
And from the throne a stream began
To flow and laugh, and as it ran,
It made a river and a lake,
And everywhere it flowed a wake
Of grass broke on the banks and spread
Like resurrection from the dead.

And in the twinkling of an eye
The saints descended from the sky.

And as I knelt beside the brook
To drink eternal life, I took
A glance across the golden grass,
And saw my dog, old Blackie, fast
As she could come. She leaped the stream--
Almost--and what a happy gleam
Was in her eye. I knelt to drink,
And knew that I was on the brink
Of endless joy. And everywhere
I turned I saw a wonder there.
A big man running on the lawn:
That's old John Younge with both legs on.
The blind can see a bird on wing,
The dumb can lift their voice and sing.
The diabetic eats at will,
The coronary runs uphill.
The lame can walk, the deaf can hear,
The cancer-ridden bone is clear.
Arthritic joints are lithe and free,
And every pain has ceased to be.
And every sorrow deep within,
And every trace of lingering sin
Is gone. And all that's left is joy,
And endless ages to employ
The mind and heart, and understand,
And love the sovereign Lord who planned
That it should take eternity
To lavish all his grace on me.

O, God of wonder, God of might,
Grant us some elevated sight,
Of endless days. And let us see
The joy of what is yet to be.
And may your future make us free,
And guard us by the hope that we,
Through grace on lands that you restore,
Are justified for evermore.

Conscientious Honesty

2008-03-01T23:51:00.002-06:00

Saturday being movie and pizza night at the Crims', Ethan became jealous of my sitting with Jay and Karin on the big chair, so I told him I would join him shortly. A few minutes later, I walked over and laid down on the couch next to my sweet E-man, pulled a blanket over us, and rested my arm behind him and my hand on his cute little keyster. A second later came this sweet warning: "Mom," he said, "I sometimes need to fart back there."

What a gentleman!

Eight is Great!

2008-02-21T15:37:00.003-06:00

My boy is eight years old today. We did present time right away this morning and watched as his eyes lit up at his shiny new bike. He requested waffles for breakfast and soon after was allowed to try his new Transformers PS2 game that his grampa got him. After lunch his best buddy called and invited him over to play. Tonight we'll go to Culver's for dinner (his choice again) and then head to the Omni Theater with his grandparents. I think it's a good day for him.

Sweet Jay, my firstborn, I am so glad you're mine. You are one cool kid. Active, smart, funny, soft-hearted. You are growing up a little bit everyday, learning how to handle life's ups-and-downs, and letting God's Spirit convict and teach you. Your faith is growing stronger, even as you bring up doubts and questions from time to time. I love how you play with baby Cait, how you sweetly listen to your great-Grandma, how you hug me and tell me I'm the best mom and Dad's the best dad. I am blessed and honored to be your Mom and have these years to walk with you and teach you as you grow, and I can't wait to see what God will do in you this next year. Thanks for being my guy. I love you!

Kitty Comfort

2008-02-14T15:10:00.002-06:00

It's been a month now since PaPa passed away, almost two since we learned of his leukemia. So these past 2 months have been pretty sad. But I have to tell you about one way that God has lavished his comfort on us...

We had wanted to get a pet for a long time, but never felt like we were at the right place to do so, due to pregnancy, finances, etc. But as Christmas approached I came up with the idea to lump together all of the kids' and my Christmas presents to each other and get a cat. I began to look for a kitty through various rescue organizations, but quickly came to the conclusion that we needed to wait until after Christmas so as not to make a hasty choice. We planned to buy all of the kitty paraphrenalia (litter box, food, water dish, etc.), wrap it all up, and tell the kids on Christmas day that we would be picking out a kitty soon.

A week before Christmas I went shopping with my dear Anushka (cat-lover extraordinaire) at PetSmart. We spent a long time gathering together all we would need for our future feline friend and were just going through the checkout line when the cashier asked if we had seen the kitties in the back. I figured it wouldn't hurt to check them out and get some pointers from Anne on what to look for, so we walked back to the room where the adoptees were.

Now, you have to understand that I was looking for a kitten, around 4 months old or so. So when the clerk pulled out of the cage the biggest cat I had ever seen, I wasn't exactly interested. "We just can't figure out why this guy's been here so long," she said, "because he is such a sweetheart!" To indulge her I took the cat in my arms and he immediately began kneading his paws into my coat. I could tell Anne was smitten right away, and she carefully started making comments about how wonderful this "Tommy" was, and about how it might be good to have a little older cat around my kids. He was very frisky, but extremely loving, and as soon as we started scratching him he rolled over onto his back to let us rub his tummy. We even did a little pull-test on his fur to see how he would react, and he actually started to purr!

Then I knew why this cat had been waiting to be adopted for so long...God had saved him for US! I asked Annie for her phone and called Brian. "Can I bring home a cat?" I asked. He said "I trust you," and Tommy came home with me.

That was over 7 weeks ago, and we are still pretty sure that we have the coolest cat in the world. We are also fairly certain that he is part dog. He runs after tinfoil balls, kicks them around with great skill, skids across the hardwood floor when he reaches one, picks it up in his mouth, drops it and starts again. He comes when you say "kitty kitty kitty", and follows us around the house. He is the ultimate "people" cat, and loves to be in whatever room we are. Besides all that he is beautiful--some kind of a mix of Siamese and Tabby, I think. He has long cream-colored fur, with orange ears, so that Jay thought he looked like a marshmallow that has just started to turn brown on the edges. "Tommy" seemed too plain for such a remarkable cat, so we finally all settled on "Caspian", which sounded more regal.

I had forgotten what magic there is in having a pet. Caspian has brought such a warmth and joy to our everyday routine. The kids are wild about him; even baby Cait comes over and bonks her little head against his to show him she loves him. We sit around and laugh at his crazy antics and love to rub his soft furriness.

Caspian has also shown an amazing trait of kitty-compassion...several times we have seen him come over to one of the girls who were crying at the time, seemingly to check them out and make sure they are ok. Another time I sat on the couch crying, and Caspian jumped up, put his furry little paws on my chest, and brought his face up to mine. And the night of my PaPa's visitation, as I sat sobbing on the floor, overwhelmed by my grief and our trip the next day on the youth ski trip, sweet Caspian got off of his comfy perch and came over to lay next to me, as if to say, "you're not alone".

Amidst all the grief of losing my PaPa, Caspian has brought hilarious joy and quiet comfort. I know that he is God's purposeful means of grace and love to us during this tough time.

Thank you, Lord!

"Caulk" Me Crazy

2008-02-04T21:14:00.000-06:00

Have you ever gotten the spontaneous idea to start something and 60 seconds into it you wondered what the heck you were thinking?

Well, I was going to clean my tub and shower today (in preparation for Jamie and Joey staying with our kids this weekend--I mean, I can't have them seeing how we really live around here!). And the next thing I knew, all of the old caulk was pulled off of the entire tub. How'd that happen?!

Friday

2008-01-22T11:02:00.000-06:00

We're home again after our weekend in Michigan with the high-schoolers. It was exhausting and good to be away, all at the same time. I had some goofy time with the teen girls and Jay and Ethan learned to ski. God's presence and grace were with us.

The grief was waiting here for me to return, however, and this morning I am filled with sadness and loneliness. As we got home last night I realized it was at the same time last week that I went to see PaPa for the last time, and as I laid in bed I thought of our last moments together. The dull ache of mourning.

The service on Friday was beautiful. We sat in the same room my PaPa had worshipped every week for over 50 years. My cousin read the scriptures, one of which was the same as Brian had read to PaPa the week before he died (from Rev. 21). Brian said the prayer, I sang--my final gift to PaPa, and my Mom spoke touching words about Gramma and PaPa's love for each other and his devotion to her. It was, I think, the first Catholic service I have ever seen beauty in. It seems the Lord has softened my perspective enough to allow me to see the points of commonality between us, and so as the priest prayed "accept Tom into your kingdom, O Lord, for he was trusting in Christ as his Savior" I shouted a silent "yes!" in agreement.

We left the church in the frigid cold and drove to Fort Snelling. The boys' grief at first was quickly quelled by their delight and fascination with the two motorcycle funeral escort officers. I told them their PaPa had once done the same job, and so we watched with respect as these men raced ahead of our little procession to block intersections and on-ramps, placing themselves in harm's way so we could go by in peace. Once again I was reminded of my PaPa's honor that he would do such a job, and we laughed, knowing that he must have enjoyed speeding around on his cycle.

I will always remember Fort Snelling that morning. The 21-gun salute, the sad and beautiful song of the bugle playing "Taps", the tri-folded flag given to my mom "on behalf of the President of the United States and a grateful nation". Again, the honor was palpable. The cold was bitter and the service kept short. I smiled, knowing PaPa would have ordered us back into the warmth of our cars so we wouldn't freeze our a____es off. As we all took a flower from the arrangement on top of the casket and hurried to our cars, my youngest cousin, Tony, hung by the casket, unable to walk away from the man who walked with him and councelled him for years. I hugged him and told him PaPa would want him to live his life, and live it well. Then, together, we walked away.

So now life continues, somehow emptier and richer at the same time. I still can't believe he's gone, but in a strange way I feel like he's not. His love for us was so strong, his mind so keen, his humor so alive...somehow I can sense the continuation of him, although as the days go by this sense is sadly fading. These next years without him seem so long, but I know they will be only a breath. Then, as I walk through The Gate into the presence of my Savior, I look forward to the one I hope will be there to welcome me Home...my PaPa.

Finally Home

2008-01-15T20:22:00.000-06:00

I called Mom this morning to ask how last night at PaPa's had gone, and she told me, "not as I had expected. He passed away last night." PaPa lived his life the way he wanted and pushed it to the very end. He only had one really bad day and then he slipped away in his sleep before the sun came up this morning.

We are holding onto hope that PaPa's trust was in Christ and that he is finally at home with the Lord. Tonight we read some passages to the kids about grieving with hope and how much better it is to be with Jesus. Until then they had been having a very difficult time (especially Jay). But since reading together their grief has been lightened. Still, going through our own grief and dealing with and loving them through theirs has exhausted us. I'm thankful they are in bed now.

Please accept my deep gratitude for all of your words of comfort, love, admirations of my PaPa, and especially your prayers. I have felt connected and supported through all of this because of you all, and it has really helped me to be able to post updates as well as write about my thoughts and emotions through this process. Thank-you so much.

The service will be on Friday and then Brian and I will be heading to Michigan with the high-schoolers and our own 4. We are trusting that the Lord's strength will be with us and that He will use this time that we have together and with the teens. If you would, please pray that we will shine with the light of Jesus as we spend time with our extended family this week, many of whom are deeply hurting right now. Also that we might even have opportunities and strength to share with them about Christ.

God is so good. He gives and He takes away. How blessed I have been to be the grand-daughter of Thomas Arthur Jackson... my PaPa.

He Loves Me

2008-01-15T01:04:00.000-06:00

I went over tonight to see PaPa and was shocked to see how much he had declined. Just yesterday he went to church and to see Gramma at the nursing home. Tonight he is in a hospital bed (brought into his bedroom by hospice), hooked up to oxygen, unable to keep even 2 bites of soup down, on morphine, with a tiny frail voice. When I got there he said, "I really went in the dumper today." He was only awake for a few minutes after I arrived, but he told me he loved me, I told him I loved him, and he told me to say hi to my boys. "Be at peace, PaPa. Rest," I said, to which he replied, "I am". It was so hard to leave.

I learned more about him tonight as my mom, step-dad, uncle, and three cousins sat around looking at old photos and talking. My PaPa once held the door open for John F. Kennedy, and hung out with one of his former Secret Servicemen. As an employee of Honeywell and the director of their transportation, he worked on projects for the Air Force and NASA and subsequently met several of the Apollo mission astronauts. And he loves the TV series "24" (Brian and my favorite show).

Why is it that we only find out how amazing someone is when they are leaving? Why didn't I pay more attention to all of his stories? Why didn't I spend more time with him as I grew older? How did I miss the fact that he is so remarkable?

Brian will be going over tomorrow morning, and beyond that, I don't know. I don't even know if he will make it that long.

But I do know he loves me.

Final Days

2008-01-14T15:46:00.001-06:00

We've had a little time to breathe the past couple of days, but I think this is it. My mom just called to say that PaPa has taken a turn for the worse. He is very weak, has a terrible headache, digestive difficulties, is short of breath, and can barely walk. He now needs 24 hour care. My mom has been with several people at the end of their lives and she says she doesn't think he'll make it more than 3 days.

On top of this, my grandma needs to be moved ASAP to the Alzheimer's floor of the nursing home. She has been wandering into other people's rooms and having accidents on their furniture. The "Fourth Floor" is not a pretty place to be, being filled with residents who are all end-stage Alzheimer's sufferers. We were hoping she could stay a while longer on the normal floor.

A few bright spots: PaPa went to see Grandma yesterday and had a good visit with her--probably his last. He is happy that she is in a good place and knows that we will take care of her. Also, my brother came home from England and was able to see him over the weekend. Lastly, when the hospice nurse asked PaPa if he wanted the chaplain to come over to talk with, PaPa answered, "I kind of liked talking with Brian". How neat is that? Hopefully we'll be able to make that happen again.

So, I thought I would be able to get out tonight for some "me" time, but I think I'll be heading over to see PaPa. We would very much still appreciate your prayers: for PaPa as he heads into his final days, that he would be further drawn to the Lord and find total peace in Him; that my family will be able to juggle the needs of caring for PaPa 24/7 and moving my Grandma to a different floor; for Brian and I, as we decide whether to take our boys to say good-bye...is that a good idea?; and for us as we are leaving on Friday (with all four kids!) for a ski retreat with the high-school group in the U.P. of Michigan...this timing could get very bad.

I feel the weight of the darkness pressing down again, like I did at first. I don't want to head back into this grief, but I have no choice. Thanks be to God, whose love is deeper than any sadness. I know He will meet me there.

My Baby Girl

2008-01-11T14:43:00.000-06:00

Just about one year ago exactly my precious Caitlyn took her first breath after a few hours of easy labor, a few minutes of hard labor, one crazy ride to the hospital, and 45 minutes of really-not-fun-pushing. I was amazed and thrilled that God had given me another girl. Our bond was instant and strong.

To say that this year has gone by quickly would be an understatement; it has been the fastest year of my life. And, as a deeply sentimental person, I shed some tears last night as I contemplated my last baby's farewell to her first year. But I promised myself in the hospital not to miss out on her life by dwelling in sadness, trying in vain to keep her from growing up. I decided then and there to celebrate her life and enjoy her for who she is everyday, and that's what I'm going to do today.

Who is Cait? She is a bright, lively, affectionate little girl who loves to snuggle with her mommy and daddy. She can often be seen touching her forehead to someone else's whom she loves-- her big sister or brothers or even our new kitty. She crawls and babbles, rolls a ball back and forth with a willing playmate, loves pears and blueberries, signs "all done" when she's finished, and hates wearing her winter coat with a passion. She is God's precious gift to me, the child whom we had debated whether to try for and for whom I prayed earnestly when Brian wasn't sure he wanted to go for #4. Pure blessing from a good and boundlessly loving God, she is and always will be, my baby.

Where He Stands

2008-01-10T21:16:00.000-06:00

Brian spent several hours with PaPa today. The first was spent listening to a lengthy rendition of PaPa's memories and looking for a good point to ask about his faith. As they sat and ate lunch together, the topic finally did come about. Brian did a lot of listening and asked lots of questions, seeking mostly to understand and clarify how my grampa sees things, rather than sermonize and "set him straight". Through their discussion, Brian says he became "more encouraged" that PaPa has a simple faith in Christ. PaPa spoke of changes he had made in his life because he realized that he was not "honoring God" (PaPa's words) and his speech had many references to the daily place of God in his life. He did mention that he hoped he hadn't done anything too bad to not go to Heaven, to which Brian questioned him on whether anyone could be good enough. PaPa knew no one could. Brian kept restating the simple truths of the gospel throughout their conversation, and said that PaPa seemed to "get it", even if rather simply. PaPa also said he is very much at peace with his impending death and that he is ready. The only real question he asked of Brian was "what comes next?"...he said his priest never talks about what the afterlife will be like. So Brian read Revelation 21 to him and told him about Heaven and the New Earth and how we won't just be flying around with wings and harps but will probably live lives somewhat resembling our lives on Earth. Throughout the conversation Brian asked several times, "are you trusting in Christ and his death on the cross?" to which PaPa answered, "of course I am."

I am encouraged by most of this. It's not the "home run" that all of us have been hoping and praying for, with a clear-cut answer to whether PaPa is trusting solely in Christ and not in his own goodness or religiosity. And yet there seems to be evidence of fruit in his life (the conviction to change his God-dishonoring ways) and he professes faith in the cross of Christ. In my staunchly Protestant theological mindset, hearing him mention his hope that he hasn't done anything too bad to lose Heaven freaks me out. Is there still the chance that he is putting his hope in his own works? It seems there is. But I wonder if there is more common ground between us Protestants and Catholics than I care to admit...could it be that sometimes we are talking about the same thing in a different language and not realizing it? Brian reminded me of how Pastor Gregg used to say that when he gets to Heaven he'll be surprised by three things: 1) the people whom he thought would be there and aren't, 2) the people whom he didn't think would be there and are, and 3) the fact that he himself made it there--only by the grace of God, of course!

Thank you all for your prayers for my sweet PaPa. I will continue to hope and pray that our coming goodbye will not be the end, but that the Lord will use every minute of PaPa's time left on earth to drive him closer to Him. My God is a God who saves. May His powerful and sovereign grace be real and effectual in my PaPa's heart for the glory of His Name!

An Opportunity

2008-01-10T10:35:00.000-06:00

Brian called PaPa this morning and said that he was available to come over today if he wanted to talk with him. PaPa said that would be fine, so B is headed over right now (10:30am Thursday) to see him. Please pray that the Spirit would fill Brian and give him discernment into where PaPa is at with the Lord. Thanks!

PaPa Update #2

2008-01-09T21:13:00.000-06:00

A lot has happened in these past couple of weeks. We moved Gramma into Presbyterian Homes, Arden Hills, two days after Christmas. It was a gut-wrenching day seeing my PaPa break down as he watched his wife of 65 years walk out the door, and holding my sweet Gramma as she cried and pled to go home after we told her she would be staying at the nursing home. I am glad that day is over, but I am so glad that I could be there to help with the transition for both. PaPa initially was having a very difficult time, feeling guilty that he couldn't care for Gramma anymore. We have told him over and over that he is taking care of her--just in a different way than before. Since that first day, Gramma has done very well in the nursing home. She is friendly (not even one report of combativeness, praise God!) and does not cry when we leave. We are thankful that the Lord has provided such an excellent place for her to be.

Gramma and I at Pres. Homes before we broke the news to her.

PaPa is still fighting, but it won't be long now. His platelet level is now at 7,000. Normal is at least 140,000, and anytime someone's level goes below 20,000 they are at risk for spontaneous bleeding. This could mean that he will just start to bleed and not stop until he's gone. It could happen at any time. My brother just flew home tonight from England where he's been studying abroad, so he can see PaPa and spend some time with him. We've had some good time with him recently...the boys and I went over last Friday and spent some time looking through a pictoral account of Guadalcanal (his first Pacific battle) with him. What an amazing time of hearing his stories and memories! I learned that my grandpa, standing in as a rear gunner, once had to jump out (there were no ejection seats back then!) of a plane at 5,000 feet after it was hit by a shell! I am hoping he will be able to make it to Cait's birthday party on Friday, but at this point it's day-by-day.

Please pray that we will be able to have the opportunity to talk with PaPa and learn more about his faith. Brian might be going over tomorrow for that reason, after we heard from my Mom that PaPa mentioned wanting to speak with him about faith matters. The Lord has comforted me that He does not need me or anyone else to work in my grandpa's heart, but if we've still got the chance, we're going to take it.

Thanks again for your love and concern. I am grateful that I can post this information on here and know that my fellow bloggers are praying. Thank-you, sweet family!

PaPa and me--Dec. 28

Shameless Pandering for Sympathy

2007-12-25T23:11:00.001-06:00

Dear Lord, what are you trying to teach me?

The past week has been filled with all 6 of us having some form of the stomach flu--B and I were mild, but the kids were all puking. We called it the "two pukes" flu because pretty much they all puked twice and then were done. Cait had it Monday, Karin and Jay Thursday, Ethan Saturday. We were all doing well today except for Cait who is still blowing out her dipe several times each day. Ten o'clock tonight and Brian and I were just about to collapse on the couch from a loooong Christmas day of exhuberant/demanding/hopped up on sugar/crazy-happy/crabby kids when Karin came running to the top of the stairs yelling, "Caityin baufed!" AGAIN!! Eight days after her first round! After a bath and some new jammies she promptly pooped up her back one more time as I wrestled the retarded but clean cribsheet into submission once more. I almost started to laugh.

Seriously, Lord, what is going on? We spent last night at home, away from my family so as not to risk getting PaPa sick, and now we're having to reschedule the reschedule. I feel like we're racing against an unseen clock, and I am so tired of washing puke and poop laundry and sanitizing everything in creation.

I don't know what's going on, but I do feel like you're trying to teach me something. I know I can't do this on my own, so I need to get with you, soak in your Word and promises, and rest in your grace. Enough for today. New tomorrow morning. OK. I'm going.

PaPa Update #1

2007-12-19T20:04:00.000-06:00

"I grew up on tales of chasing bandito's in Haiti and Nicaragua from my Father, so there was no other choice but the Marines for me. I enlisted in the United States Marine Corps at Minneapolis, Minnesota on May 1, 1941...

Boot camp was up before dark and to the Mess Hall for breakfast. Then out to the grinder for a couple of hours of close order drill and then a class on weapons that we would be using. 30 and 50 caliber machine guns, Browning Automatic Rifles, and 45 automatics. We needed to be proficient in taking these weapons apart and putting them back together blind folded. There were also courses in chemical warfare, general orders and the rank of various officers in the US Marines and their counterparts in the Navy.

I am afraid that Hollywood would have been disappointed as there was none of that sadistic crap you see in the Movies. Oh there were some dropped rifles that were slept with at night and some learned the difference between their rifle and their gun, but that was it. Only one incident that I can recall that was out of the ordinary. One night about 11 or 12 pm Corporal D-- fell us out in our underwear, winter overcoats, rifles and bare feet. He then marched us down to the beach and marched us back and forth for about an hour. The next morning the Gunny notices some of us were limping. The sea shells on the beach had cut up some of the feet pretty bad. The Gunny marched us up to the sick bay and had our feet treated. We never saw Corporal D-- again until couple of months later when we were at Camp Mathews Rifle Range. We all noted he was now a Private."

--from Papa's account of his time in the Marines during WWII

Thank-you all for your love and concern for my PaPa. It's been a tough week. A week ago today my mom took him to his doctor appointment with the oncologist. When he learned the news he said that he thought that something was going on with his body, but he was a bit shocked at how little time they said he has left. Since then he's been going through a bit of denial, wondering if the diagnosis is correct. Today he went to meet with his regular doctor who was hopefully going to be able to answer those questions and give him a clearer picture of the situation. I should hear soon how that appointment went.

A few days ago PaPa signed on with hospice care, so he'll be able to stay in his own home even until the end. But he's realized that Gramma cannot stay long with him. She is getting to the really difficult stage of Alzheimer's--incontinence and combativeness, which will just be too much for him very soon (I'm not sure how he's managed this long, actually). So, yesterday he and my mom found a place for her at Presbyterian Homes in Arden Hills. We will be moving her in the day after Christmas. I think this will be really hard.

PaPa is definitely getting more tired, my mom says. And that's how it will go. No pain, just greater and greater fatigue. We just don't know how long it will take.

The first several days were tough. I would get through the day and then cry at night (the kids still don't know what's happening, so I have to be careful). My fuse was nonexistent, so anything with the kids set me off. The past couple of days have seemed more normal as we prepare for Christmas and get past the initial shock, but every time I think about Christmas Eve I want to cry. It will be our last Christmas Eve with PaPa. How am I going to handle that? Even just thinking about it brings the tears again. I'm not ready to say goodbye.

If you would still keep us in your prayers I would so appreciate it. I got a note today from one of my former youth who reminded me that "our God is more than able...no one or no thing is beyond His grasp." For some reason, perhaps because I've prayed for so long, it is hard for me to believe that right now. I am afraid his hope is based not on Jesus Christ alone, but on his own righteousness as a "good Catholic" or a "good man". I'm afraid he won't "get it" in time. Lord, help my unbelief!

Also, my poor mom is overwhelmed with the responsibilities of doctor's appointments, cleaning out the house, finding a nursing home for Gramma, preparing to move her after Christmas and continue to visit and support her while PaPa is dying, helping PaPa grapple with his prognosis and impending death, as well as her own heath concerns. I am also concerned for my kids, especially Jay, if and when we tell them about PaPa. They love him dearly.

I will post more as time goes on, as well as more of PaPa's own stories from the War. I wish you all could know him...thanks for letting me share some of him with you.

Please Pray for My PaPa

2007-12-11T22:31:00.000-06:00

It's just been a few hours since I posted last. But tonight as I was making dinner my mom called to tell me that my PaPa has leukemia and may only have several weeks to live. I hung up the phone and started to cry, then called Brian to ask if we could go see him tonight. PaPa still doesn't himself know the news--he'll find out tomorrow at his appointment with the doctor. So I wanted to go over and have one last "normal" time with him and Gramma--before everything changes. I wanted to see him one last time unburdened by this knowledge and free to just enjoy his great-grandkids. I hoped to bless him by our time and hugs.

I'm so glad we went. My kids laughed and played with PaPa and Gramma. They sat and played the same organ that I did as a child during so many visits; they rang most of Gramma's bell collection and looked at as many things as possible under PaPa's enlargement machine that he uses to do the NYT crossword every day. Cait crawled around on the floor and rolled a ball back and forth with him. Jay brought an army helicopter toy to show him and PaPa examined all the guns to see what caliber they were. Then the boys asked him if they could go see his trains downstairs. I followed and snapped a few pictures as he showed us his plans for his next train setup and the model buildings he's been constructing for it. Not that he has much time for it, he explained to me, pointing to the lines of hanging laundry he's been doing as he daily cares for my sweet gramma with Alzheimer's.

It was a perfect time. Jay said on the way home how much PaPa and Gramma mean to him. Karin said it was so much fun to go to their house. And I quietly thought of how glad I am that he's gotten to meet all of my babies.

I haven't lost someone this close to me--I've never known a day without my PaPa's existence. As the child of a single-parent working mom, I spent so many hours at their house, stayed overnight with them, went to the cabin in the summers with them. It was PaPa who taught me how to fish and how to play solitaire, who let me run the model trains even as a small child. I think I was the apple of his eye--his only granddaughter for 13 years. It's one of those things where you can't imagine life without someone.

Thanks for listening to me ramble. Somehow it helps me to write this down and let the tears come.

But why I started to write all this was to ask for your prayers. I don't know where my PaPa is at with the Lord, and I am NOT OK WITH THE THOUGHT OF NEVER SEEING HIM AGAIN. He is a faithful Catholic and an amazing man, but I still don't know if his faith is in Christ alone or in something else. I have written to him about this in years past, but he never replied. My mom said he was confused by my letters, that he didn't understand what I was asking.

Will you please pray with me for him...contend for this man whom I love with all my heart? I have prayed for years. Can God use these next few weeks to answer them? I confess, by faith is weak right now. Will you please pray that this goodbye which looms so near before me will not be the end? That I might have another chance to speak with him about this and that he will understand? Oh, God--help me trust you. Help PaPa trust you. Please pray for him as he hears the news tomorrow...what will that be like? Please pray for my Gramma who will now almost certainly have to go into a nursing home--alone for the first time in almost 65 years. Please pray for my mom who bears the burden of all these decisions as well as her own grief over a father whom she loves immensely.

I hate this. Porter was right--there is nothing natural about death. It sucks. I want to scream. I want my PaPa.

Crim Family Unplugged

2007-12-11T15:54:00.000-06:00

Wow, guys, we've taken the plunge! For so long I've known we really needed to cut back on tv around here, but I've never had the guts to pull the plug. I've rationalized it endlessly, reminding myself of the good sides of a few minutes of relaxation and entertainment. Nevertheless, I've felt like we were missing out on better things--like reading good books, talking together, time in the Word, wrestling matches, games with our kids, and SLEEP. I had the nagging feeling that our lives were being slowly stolen from us by that hypnotic blue light...

On our vacation in October up to a little cabin in the woods there was a tiny tv with 2 channels. It stayed off the entire week, and it was one of the best weeks we've ever had as a family. We played endless games of cards, checkers, Uno, and chess. We set up a firing range outside and took turns pummeling coffee cans with an air rifle beebee gun. Brian took the 3 oldest on a ride in a rowboat while I putzed around in the shallows of the frigid lake wearing hip waders. We took walks and cooked s'mores by the wood burning stove. The kids went to bed not so late, and Brian fell asleep in a chair while I worked a crossword puzzle. We came home after 6days completely refreshed and much closer as a family.

We decided to continue our time without the tube. Monday through Friday around here is no-tv-land, although we do still have our Monday movie night (a tradition) and we sit down together to watch "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader" on Thursday nights. But no more cartoons in the afternoon or "Raymond" after the kids go down. I figure we've cut at least 10 hours of tv out of the house, between us and the kids.

The result? I have more energy. No kidding! I, who many days felt like I could barely make it until I could just relax on the couch and watch Oprah while the kids napped, am now not so tired in the afternoons. And when I still am, I take a nap. We are talking more, enjoying each other more, doing stuff together more. Our family feels alive, more joyful, and less bored. The kids have hardly asked for their old shows. And we enjoy the select few that we watch even more for the treat that they are.

I'm not preaching against tv here. It's not bad in itself. But what we've learned this past month is that it can steal away some of the really good stuff in life. The stuff that really matters. For us it has been a good trade.

5-year-old Punctuation

2007-12-02T15:53:00.000-06:00

One day this week Ethan and I were sitting down and working on his ABC's. To practice writing them we have a plastic container with a bit of salt in it in which he uses his finger to form the letters and then "erases" them by shaking the tray. We had just finished reviewing several letters, both capitals and lower-case, so I told him to finish by drawing a smiley face. He did so and then quickly added a smaller smiley face. Then he looked up at me and said, "Look, Mom--a capital and lower-case smiley face!"

I love that kid!

All in a Day's Words

2007-11-20T21:58:00.000-06:00

My mom sent this to me. I love it when clever people put the rigors of mommyhood to classical music!

Honest Totty

2007-11-18T22:34:00.000-06:00

Oh, my sweet Totty! Tonight she came up to me with those big round eyes and said, "I like you, Momma." Of course my heart melted, as would anyone's. "I like you, too, honey," I responded with a big smile and swelling heart.

Quickly she followed with, "but not all the time. Sometimes I don't." Oh. Not so much what I wanted to hear. "Well, that's honest," I replied, wondering if she would give a reason and trying not to take it too much to heart--afterall, nobody likes everyone all the time, right?

"...When you put me in time out," she finished.

Can't really blame her, can I? And I am thankful she can speak honestly with me, even if she is just 3. Lord, give me the grace to handle her "honesty" when she's 13! Oh, and thank-you for my sweet girl!

Giddy Girlie Time Bliss

2007-11-12T23:40:00.000-06:00

Yep. It's late. I have to teach 2 rambunctious boys tomorrow while juggling a 3-year-old and a babers and so I should be in bed. But I'm all hopped up on extrovert endorphines after spending the evening with a whole gaggle of awesome women. We hit Panera for dinner and then went to see the movie Bella together. Wow. Go see it! Not one swear word or suggestive scene...just a wonderful story about choosing life over abortion. Just a warning: there is an extremely graphic and heart-wrenching scene involving a child in a car accident...this movie is clean but not appropriate for kiddos! Sniffles were coming in stereo around me as we watched. I was surrounded by friends, some of whom I've laughed and cried with for over a decade. What could be better? Obviously...ending the night at Starbucks and laughing ourselves silly over warm cups of coffee. Ahhhhhh--extrovert nirvana.

My heart is overflowing. What a gift, these people God has placed in my life! Their humor, smiles, wisdom, gentleness, courage, and strength fill me. I am overwhelmed by the blessing of it all.

We were just reading last night at cell group from Mark 3 where Jesus is approached by someone announcing the arrival of his mother and brothers who had come to see him. To this he replied, "'Who are my mother and my brothers?'" "Then he looked at those seated in a circle around him and said, 'Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does God's will is my brother and sister and mother.'"

My heart resonates with this. What a family He has given me! Tonight my sisters and I shared soup and coffee and laughter and tears together. I am so grateful.

Stuff's Happenin

2007-10-08T15:35:00.000-05:00

God is on the move!

For more information, check out

http://www.reigndownusa.com/ .

(Above photo is from their site).

Let's get on board, peeps!

Magical Day

2007-10-05T21:42:00.000-05:00

Last Friday we headed off to the Renaissance Festival. We got uber-discounted tickets through a homeschool co-op, Brian took the day off, and we dropped off the girls at Michele's so we could have optimal fun time without a weary toddler and a nursing babers.

Jay practicing his jousting skills...got it on the first try! (Click on photo to see Jay's face up close!)

What an amazing day! We walked in the front gate and were greeted by a medieval townscape. As we began looking through several shops of chain-male (sp?) and leather goods we heard a tune playing and a saw crowd of children gathered around the most magical looking person I've ever seen. She was a fairy, complete with wings and sparkles, and she didn't make a sound except on her fairy flute, on which she played a little tune for us. She moved with such grace, almost floating, and when her tune ended she knelt down in front of the boys and reached in her pocket for two small fairy stones which also sparkled with glitter. Now, I'm not a huge poetry/magic/fairy kind of girl (sorry, Vonda!), but the moment almost made me cry for the sheer beauty of it. It was like we had stepped into another world that we were allowed to visit for the day before returning to life as we know it.

One of the best parts of the day: a mongo turkey leg!

The rest of the day we packed in as much of the sights and tastes as we could. We watched a magic show and Jay "volunteered" his dad for one of the stunts up on stage (this turned out to be Brian's highlight). We played with juggling sticks that we could not put down and allowed the boys to use their birthday money to buy some of their own. We paid $8 for them to take the shortest elephant ride known to man, but hey--they got to ride an elephant! We watched knights joust and a man breathe fire. We ate a turkey leg, yummy crepes, cheese curds, a slurpee, and ice cream. We got to each hold a real sword (only $500 and it could be yours!), Brian helped the boys fire real crossbows, and at the end we all did some climbing on a tower (my highlight!). It was an incredible day!

Go, Mama!

The boys are at that age where knights and swords and castles are about the coolest things ever, so it was such a blessing to go and be a part of that world for a few hours. I think they will remember our day together for a long time. I know I will!

Our little knights

"It'll be Fun!"

2007-09-30T21:51:00.001-05:00

Brian was relaxing on the living room floor when 3-year-old Totty came up behind him and asked to play "the Head Game". "What's 'the Head Game', Sweetie?" he asked. "You know...you sit here and I climb up on top of your head," she answered as she hopped up on the chair behind him, preparing to begin the game. Apparently sensing Brian's lack of enthusiasm for this idea, she added cheerfully, "it'll be fun!"

Who could resist logic like that? Whatever the game was, she definitely won!

Pachelbel Bedtime

2007-09-29T09:58:00.000-05:00

I got this off of my friend's blog, "Still Can't Help Myself" (see right for link). It was so good I decided to post it on my blog as well. This guy is amazing--in just over 4 minutes he manages to capture both the angst and bliss of the universal parenting ritual of bedtime, all to the tune of Canon in D.

Whistle Me Crazy

2007-09-05T22:10:00.000-05:00

Ethan has learned to whistle. One note. Repeatedly--no--incessantly...kind of like singing Jingle Bells all the way through on one note. Today we went to the library after lunch... he whistled the whole way, while biking. He whistled the whole time we were at the library, picking out books. And he whistled the whole way home again. OH MY GOODNESS!

One of my biggest struggles is with noise. I don't like it, maybe because I have too much rattling around in my brain as it is, and noise just adds to the amount I have to process. But sweet little Ethan's whistling is just him being happy, so I am trying to restrain myself from harshly rebuking him for it. And so several times each day lately I find myself breathing out a prayer of "oh, Jesus, help me"!

So, if you're in a store or at the library and hear a strange monotone "song" coming from the other aisle, you'll know who it is. And the next time you hear someone whistling a tune, please say a prayer for me as I battle to retain my sanity!

On a Lighter Note

2007-08-26T21:11:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the huge swing in emotions between posts, but I just saw this on Reegz's blog and thought it was hilarious...

I'm bad too.

Our Sweet Marguerite

2007-08-24T11:08:00.000-05:00

Where to begin? I had the idea this morning to go visit our friend Marguerite at the Christian Community Home here in town. We met her back at Christmastime in 2005 when we went to say hi and give hugs to residents. I'm not sure why we picked her room to visit, but afterwards I knew we needed to come back. And so we did. We tried to make it once a month, and we always went straight to Marguerite's room.

The kids loved her immediately and so did I. She was so sharp, so interested in our lives. It felt like we had known her forever. She saved treats and stuffed animals to give to the kids and told us her story. The wife of a diplomat, she traveled to and lived in many far-away nations. Treasures from these places filled her room and testified to a rich life (and gave me many moments of anxiety as my kids would pick them up to ask, "what's this?"). Marguerite had two children, a son who was a gifted flutist, and much later, a daughter whom Marguerite and her husband let their ten-year-old son name. The little girl adored her big brother but the family lost him at the age of 22 when he was killed in a car accident. My heart ached for Marguerite's loss and I planned on coming sometime to play my flute for her.

We began to call her "Grandma Marguerite" and the kids enjoyed trying on her jewelry (imagine Ethan in big red clip-on earrings!) and coloring pictures for her. Last Halloween I brought the kids by early so she could see them in their costumes. She loved my kids. When aides came in the room she would proudly tell them about us and how I teach them at home.

I wish we had made it to see her more often. After Cait was born it took me 4 months to visit. I learned that we had missed her 90th birthday party, which broke my heart. But I was thankful to have the chance to introduce her to my new baby girl. She thought it was good that I had had another girl because a boy would have been too much for me. The kids ran around the nursing home that day and I let them, too tired to chase them and enjoying the chance to sit and chat with Marguerite in peace. The baby nursed and we talked. It was a precious time.

That was 3 months ago. I had wanted to stop in before we left for vacation at the end of June, but in all the craziness, we didn't make it. The kids have been reminding me lately that we need to go and see her, so today I called to check if it would be a good time to visit. Her number was disconnected.

Now I'm crying. We can't go back. We can't sit in her little room and see her smile and hear her stories. I can't play my flute for her. She was an amazing woman and now she's gone. In a few minutes Brian will be home for lunch and we will tell the kids. Their sweet and affectionate hearts will be devastated.

I am amazed and angry at how such a wonderful life can slip away so quietly. I had always been afraid she would pass without my knowing, and would find myself scanning the obituaries while reading the local paper, just in case. The only information I've found is that she died on Thursday, July 5 at Regions Hospital, which means she was sick or hurt. Oh Lord, was she all alone? We were still down in Indiana then and driving home on the day of her funeral. We missed all of it. We can't even say goodbye. What should we do?

Maybe it will be good to tell the kids. Then we can cry together.

We will miss you so much, our dear Marguerite.

Must Check These Out!

2007-08-18T00:31:00.000-05:00

Hey, you bloggers...two posts to read if you feel like a good laugh...

Go to my friend Deanna's blog, "Still Can't Help Myself" (see link at right), and scroll down to July 21 post, "If You Can't Laugh at Yourself" and June 1 post, "Prayers". Both had me laughing out loud!

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for lifelong friends, goofy senses of humor, and the prayers of little girls!

Blog Scrapbook Entry #4: Caitlyn

2007-08-15T20:29:00.000-05:00

Oh, my baby Cait! One of the sweetest babes I've ever known, rivaled only by her sister in her babyhood. It's easy to forget she's even there as long as she's got a full tummy and isn't sleepy. Otherwise she just hangs out...happy. When spoken to, her face breaks into a wide one-toothed grin. Her latest feats: sitting up unassisted and waving bye-bye (we think). Cait loves the attention of her big sibs and giggles at their tickles and antics.

What a gift she is to us! How thankful I am that God sent her to us and that I get to be her mommy. She is truly a wonderful finale to the Crim Clan!

Blog Scrapbook Entry #3:Karin

2007-08-15T16:27:00.001-05:00

Karin (a.k.a. "Totty" after a character from a Wallace and Grommit movie) will be 3 in a couple of weeks. We adore her cute yet awkward speech patterns that yield sentences such as "we's had fuds bows an showboat" which translates "we have fudge bars and sherbet". She is still the most cuddly kid I know, and her daddy is often seen soaking in a big hug with a contented smile on his face. Karin is taken with Disney princesses and with the movie Madeline (pronounced "Madeyine"). She finally will allow me to fix her hair and loves to dress herself in interesting combinations. Her favorite color is purple and her favorite foods are brownies, beans, sherbet, popsicles, and fudge bars (her answers!). Every night she still goes to sleep listening to her "Bubbles" CD and often asks us to sing the "Captain Vegetable" song on our way out of her room.

She has her 2-year-old moments, however, and is gradually learning to speak instead of whine, say please instead of demand, and ask for a turn instead of throwing a temper tantrum. She adores her baby sister and loves to help in any way she can. And hopefully we'll be saying goodbye to diapers and hello to princess underwear very soon.

We are so thankful for our sweet Totty!

Blog Scrapbook Entry #2:Ethan

2007-08-15T16:00:00.000-05:00

Ethan is Tigger in a 5-year-old boy's skin. Full of boundless energy and squirrelyness, he keeps us on our toes. E loves to ride his scooter, play PS2, color, and tickle and/or jump on people. He is looking forward to Kindergarten this year, but has already been learning lots by "doing school" with his big brother. Ethan also really likes bugs. His favorite color is blue and his favorite food is watermelon.

Just a few weeks ago Ethan prayed and asked Jesus to forgive him of his sins and be his Lord. And even though he has much room to grow in areas of self-control and obedience, I have since seen a greater responsiveness in him to correction and teaching. He is also better at sharing with others than any kid I know. He has a big heart and is tons of fun!

Blog Scrapbook Entry #1:Jay

2007-08-15T15:37:00.000-05:00

I was just planning to put a recent photo of all my kids for anyone who hasn't seen them recently (or ever), and then got the idea to do a short summary for each of them. Starting with Jay...

Now 7 1/2 years old, Jay is a lover of all things Star Wars. He just finished up his first grade year at the Crim Academy for Gifted Students (that's what my mom calls our homeschool), where he learned to read independently and enjoyed arts and crafts the most. He loved playing soccer again this spring and asked me yesterday if he could take rock-climbing lessons. Hmmmm...I'll have to think about that one! Favorite color: green. Favorite foods: pizza, strawberries, carrots with Ranch dressing, salad, meatloaf, and cotton candy, strawberry, or chocolate-cookie dough ice cream.

My favorite thing about Jay is his tender heart for Jesus. Recently when his little brother prayed to receive Christ he sat across the table from him and virtually cried with joy. It is amazing to see God's work in him as he learns and grows in his faith. What a joy he is!

10 Years!

2007-08-12T22:47:00.000-05:00

Brian and I recently celebrated our 10th anniversary. I can't believe we are that old! Seems just yesterday we were skipping down that aisle as naive youngins and now we have 4 youngins of our own.

To mark the occasion, we booked a room at a 4-star hotel in Minneapolis (priceline.com--$70!). We had dinner at the nicest restaurant I will eat at this side of glory--Ruth's Chris Steakhouse--where the filet comes out on a plate at 1500 degrees, sizzling in butter. We toasted our first decade together and imagined what the next will bring.

I am so grateful for this man. What a rock of steadfast love and faithfulness he has been! Marriage is not an easy road, by any means, but I am thankful that he has been the one by my side through all of its twists and turns, summits and valleys. He is my love.

Oh, and by the way... in the photo he is showing off his new wedding ring which we picked up on the way to the hotel to replace the one that went missing last August in the St. Croix. I was glad to get that puppy back on his hand to let everyone know that he is taken!

My Once-A-Year Sunrise

2007-08-12T22:25:00.001-05:00

On our vacation down in Indiana last month I got up early one morning to go run a 5K with my sister-in-law. Getting up before the sun is not something I do, even though I wish I was the type who did. Glorious. That's what it was. These were a few of the shots I snapped in the perfect morning light...

Holy Moment

2007-07-12T22:46:00.000-05:00

Long story ahead...it's late and this is not my best writing by any means, but I want to capture details before I forget...

Brian's at Sonshine today and tonight, so it was just me 'n the chitlins tonight at dinner. As we sat eating our delectable Red Baron 4-meat pizza and side dish of green beans we were discussing a family that we know who we think are not yet believers. Somewhere in the midst of this conversation Ethan chimed in, "I'm a believer...I believe in God!" "That's great, Ethan!" I responded, "but being a believer also means that you know you're a sinner and trust in Jesus' death on the cross to save you. It means that you decide to follow Him for the rest of your life." When I asked him if he had ever asked Christ to forgive his sins, he responded that he had not. "Well, if you ever want to do that, you just let me know," I said. I told him that I had been his age when I had "asked Jesus into my heart".

We began to talk about how Jesus would have died for just one of us if we had been the only one alive. Jay was moved by this (my little feeler!), and started to cry into his napkin, when all of a sudden Ethan blurted out, "I want to do that thing that you said". "Right now?" I asked. "Yeah," he answered.

I asked E a few questions to make sure he understood the basics (at least as well as a 5-year-old can). He agreed he is a sinner, that he can't save himself, that he must trust in Christ's death to be saved, and that he wanted to live for God instead of himself. Then he repeated my words in a simple prayer of faith and commitment to Jesus Christ. After we finished praying Jay ran around the table and hugged me saying "thank you, Mom!" over and over. Then he hugged little Ethan and we all hugged. I told Ethan that there were angels up in Heaven having a huge party because of him, to which he gave me that goofy cross-eyed Ethan look.

Suddenly I realized something...

This morning I went running. It was not an easy run, and so I decided to pray as a way to distract myself from my discomfort. After praying for several friends I decided to pray for one of my children. Ethan came to mind first. Whereas Jay has displayed a bend toward God since he was barely talking, Ethan has seemed more resistant and ambivalent. And even though I have lately seen signs of softening, my prayer this morning was that God would take hold of little Ethan's heart.

I told Ethan about my prayer to God just this morning, and both boys looked amazed at God's prompt answer.

I am so amazed by all of this. How privileged I am to have witnessed both of my sons profess faith in Christ! And how blessed I am to have seen Jay's teary eyes as he became visibly shaken at the thought of his brother eternally separated from God, as well as his exhuberant joy after Ethan's prayer! Not that I hang too much on the single prayer of a 5-year old, but it does appear that the Mighty One is at work in my dear E's heart. May His work continue!

Oh, sweet Jesus! Thank you for the treasure of this night! Praise and glory to You, O winner of men's (and boy's) hearts!

My Kids "Flip" for Joey!

2007-06-06T22:00:00.000-05:00

Had a lovely dinner with Mr. and Mrs. White a couple of Saturdays ago. Just before we left, Joey tempted fate with this little stunt...I'm surprised he didn't end up with spaghetti and ice-cream all over him!

Jamie sent us home with rhubarb crisp. It was gone within 24 hours.

You two lovebirds rock!

Making Friends

2007-06-01T15:14:00.000-05:00

This is how I found Cait one morning while the kids were watching cartoons. Only 4 months old and she's already got a friend!

Bible Time with Ethan

2007-05-22T15:52:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine gave me an idea recently to have my kids each sit down with their children's Bibles and have some time in the Word. I had never thought of this idea with such young kids, but thought we could try it. So, yesterday I had them choose a spot in the house (they all chose the living room) to have their "Bible Time". They were to sit quietly to see what God would teach them from his Word.

After a couple of minutes, Ethan started looking at the pictures at the back of his story Bible for inspiration. These were some of the things that he pronounced as biblical instruction: "use encouraging words", "consider others" (so far, so good!), "pet animals carefully" (hmmmm...), and "don't take candy when your mom says to stop".

Aren't kids cool?

The Swivel Sweeper and The Trinity?

2007-05-17T20:52:00.000-05:00

My eldest (now 7) loves infomercials. Every once in awhile I'll catch him watching one after his cartoon has ended. I'm always quick to tell him to turn it off, but somehow he's managed to virtually memorize the scripts for two, in particular. For instance, I'll be chopping something up for dinner in the kitchen when Jay, coming to see what I'm doing, will inform me that my task would be so much easier if we had the Magic Bullet. "We really should get one," he'll say with absolute sincerity.

I have to admit that I've bought a couple of infomercial products once they've hit the Target/Walmart scene. I'd have to say that the Smart Spin containers with uniform lids are pretty handy. And recently I sprung for the Swivel Sweeper after visiting a friend's house and seeing Jay gleefully sweep her entire house with it. Now my boys fight over using it to sweep my floors (score one for mom!).

This brings me to the title for my post... Jay had just returned from a victorious run of said gizmo and was emptying the removable tray. As he showed me how much he had collected in just a few moments of swiveling and sweeping we began to discuss the merits of our newest contraption. I remarked how much I appreciate not having to bend over and shove stuff into a dustpan. "Yeah," he agreed. "Because the Swivel Sweeper is a vacuum, broom, and dustpan, all in one...kind of like how God is the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit all in one!"

It was one of those moments where you think, Did you really just say what I think you said? and try your darndest not to bust up laughing.

The Tottinator

2007-05-05T14:57:00.000-05:00

That's my girl!

Ethan's Ethics

2007-04-25T21:36:00.000-05:00

E: "When I get big I'm going to marry Karin."

Mom: "Oh, no, honey--you can't marry someone in your family."

E: "Why not? You and Dad did!"

Perplexing Peaches

2007-03-09T10:37:00.000-06:00

Warning: for certain personalities this may be stressful to watch!

Happy Girl

2007-03-05T16:55:00.000-06:00

Such a smiley girl! Cait has been grinning socially for about a month now and often combines her smiles with conversational coos. I have learned that "ah-goo" means "I love you, Mommy" and "ohhhh" means "I can't wait to eat chocolate chips someday". It's amazing how us moms learn to interpret our babies' communication!

Oh, I just can't stand how cute she is!!

Quite Possibly the Cutest Newlywed Couple on the Planet

2007-03-02T23:32:00.000-06:00

What do you get when you put two people together who love Christ, love each other, and (at times) are complete goofballs?...Mr. and Mrs. Joey White!

Jamie has been my girl since 8th grade when Kara Jo and I were her cell group leaders and she wore those awesome wire rimmed glasses and braces. She's always been a good kid with a heart for doing what's right, but she's become this amazing woman who I am so proud of and who is so stinkin' fun to be around.

And then some weirdo introduced her to Joey...a young man with a fierce devotion to Christ and a strong grip on loving leadership. They got to know each other over the summer and fell in love...and then decided to date! Within weeks Jamie was proclaiming to me, "Jen, I love him"! And before we knew it, Joey had a ring just waiting for a finger.

This past Saturday we drove up to Duluth for their wedding on Lake Superior. It was beautiful. They said "I do", walked back down the aisle, and promptly began to smooch in the corner. Perfect.

It's hard to say how special it was to see these two join their lives together. I am so excited for them and can't wait to see how God will use them in the future. He gives such good gifts, doesn't he?

Beyond Belief

2007-01-19T02:08:00.000-06:00

Apparently I didn't have long to wait after that last post! I went to sleep around 2:30am and awoke at 7 with contractions 5 minutes apart. By 3:04pm, after a rather frantic dash to the hospital, our Caitlyn Grace was born.

We are blown away by God's gift...we feel like we couldn't have planned it any better...2 boys and 2 girls. NO WAY!! Neither B nor I thought Sparky was a girl, even though almost everyone else did--even Ethan, who thought we should name her Nick. Or Lenny. He's since decided Caitlyn is an acceptable alternative.

I'll post more pics later. I can't stop looking at or taking pictures of her!

Thank you, Lord, for this indescribable gift and tender care of our family! God be praised!!

Waiting

2007-01-11T01:06:00.000-06:00

OK, I've officially passed the time frame in which I expected to spontaneously go into labor. And now it's one in the morning. I went to bed exhausted at 9pm after a couple of hours of false labor and now I've been awake since midnight with a brain that refuses to stop thinking about my uterus. So, what to do? Blog, I guess!

I woke yesterday morning and had a few minutes with the Lord to start the day while B was downstairs with the chitlins. The word "wait" was on my heart, so I spent some time in Ps. 27. The ending of the psalm is,

"Wait for the Lord;

be strong and take heart

and wait for the Lord".

I knew that's what I needed to do. But it is hard! I'm not good at the waiting and I'm definitely not good at being strong while waiting! I struggled through the day until rest time and then sat down at the computer. DJ (fellow waiter, due that day) had sent me a note of encouragement with this poem:

Waiting

Dear baby, hear beneath my heart,
I thought that you might come today;
The timing just seemed right.
But the stars are out
And the moon is high
And sheepishly I wonder why
I try to arrange the plans of God,
For I know
You will not come until the One
Who holds eternity rustles your soft cocoon
And whispers in tones that I will not hear,
“It’s time, precious gift.
Now it’s time.”

Robin Jones Gunn

What a beautiful reminder of God's sovereign reign in all of this! There will soon come that moment when He will whisper to my baby and it will be time. I was reminded of Ps. 139:10 which says that Sparky's days are already ordained--every one of them. Who am I to say when they will begin?

So why am I sitting here in despair? Why can't I just let God be God and rest until He brings about this miracle? Lord, help me trust you more. Be my strength while I wait.

One bright spot: it's past midnight and kare11.com has another crossword puzzle posted...something to take my mind off of my uterus for awhile!

Check Out Those Cheeks!

2007-01-05T20:33:00.000-06:00

This is our most recent picture of Sparky, taken last Monday to check baby's size in hopes of not having another Butterball. All looks good...the ultrasound measured baby at 8 lbs. 10 oz. and the doctor thinks he or she isn't even that big and probably won't come out over 10 lbs...I could have kissed the guy!

But despite Sparky's petite (by Crim standards) size, he or she still has the trademark chubby cheeks, one of which can be seen in the picture above. The big round shape on the left is the tummy, the little round shape in the upper right is the cheek, next to the nose with two black dots for nostrils and two dark eyes. Baby was busily sucking on something while we peeked in. So amazing!

I guess we're pretty much ready around here. I know I would love to bend over again without a watermelon in the way! But I'm scared about going through labor again...funny how we don't think about that when we're excited about getting pregnant again but how vivid my recollection of it all is now that it could happen at any time! Please pray for me to endure.

Glass Doesn't Last Long Around Here

2007-01-04T15:24:00.000-06:00

This is the result of our latest glass-tastrophy. Apparently Ethan was on his bed for a time-out while Mommy was gone trying desperately to regain some sanity. We'll never know what inspired our little monkey to think that the light fixture's glass could support 45 lbs. of weight. And yet, somehow, the thought entered his 4 year old cranium and was acted upon. I wonder how long it held him before it broke...? He then fell down onto the footboard and the glass thingy fell on top of him and then shattered as it hit the footboard as well. Daddy was not amused. I have to admit that I was...after all, I wasn't there to deal with the disaster cleanup!

This is the most recent in a growing list of glass-breakage events in our household. To date we have lost the glass to our entertainment center door (by one of the chitlins slamming it), the glass in our big picture over our couch (by a toy thrown at it), the picture window (by Ethan's head or body--we didn't discover the crack until we got back from 5 weeks in Indiana), and the lid to our upstairs toilet (by a tantrum-throwing boy kicking the wall during time out and subsequently knocking the picture above the toilet off the wall and onto the lid). Impressive, huh? Makes us wonder if it's really a good idea to install french doors between our living room and dining room for some much-needed noise reduction...what are the chances of all those little panes surviving the next 10 years in our house with our boys?

The Shadow Is Dead

2006-11-22T12:48:00.000-06:00

Alright, alright...I'll blog something! Actually, I've had this one waiting in the wings for awhile, so it really took place several weeks ago. Sorry for the delay--I just haven't gotten into a bloggin' mood for awhile...

A week or so ago I gave Vonda a ride to Three Hats Coffee and then home in our little red car. Several times that evening we had to pull over to the side of the road to restart the engine because it completely lost acceleration--something that had been happening for a few months now with increasing frequency. "No problem," I assured her, "this same thing happened to us last year and it only cost about $100 to fix." As I pulled away from her house I could tell she was genuinely worried that I wouldn't make it home, especially without a cell phone.

We finally got it checked out today after a few incidences of it not starting at all and frequent sluggishness in crossing intersections (yikes!). The verdict: she's a goner. After first telling Brian that "we have people who can come and pick up cars like this one," the shop receptionist explained that my poor little 1992 Dodge Shadow ES turbo has multiple organ failure--transmission and head gasket. A mere $3500-5000 would cure her, but let's face it...she's telling us she's had enough.

My first car will be sent off for parts on Monday. Got her from my dad when I was a giddy little college junior. Loved to use that turbo engine to accelarate as quickly as possible to the posted speed limits near Bethel College. Beautiful red color, in the tradition my dad had of driving little red cars back when I was a just a young girl riding on the armrest next to him and helping him shift. Had a great stereo system til I blew it out. Fun automatic window controls cleverly located in a place that could be used to freak out naive 8th grade girls (ie Katie Olson!) in the back seat whom I convinced that the car was possessed. Only one major repair in the 11 years I had her. What a great car!

The first time I saw her was when my Dad drove her up from Sacramento to Portland (10 hours!) to see me perform with the Bethel Concert Band. I was so excited driving around the city that night with him, anticipating when she would be mine. The first summer I had her my best friend Dee and I drove down to Kansas City to order my new flute for which I'd been waiting 2 years. This was the car that whisked Brian and I away from our wedding stuffed full with balloons, Fruit Loops littering the floor, and Wacky Noodles hanging out the windows. The next day we drove up to the North Shore for our Honeymoon. Good memories. You never forget your first car, right?

Tomorrow we'll clean her out and say goodbye. And since we're now going to try to be a one-car family, we'll come home and wonder why in the world we just built a 2-car garage!

Growing

2006-10-13T17:11:00.000-05:00

OK, last Wednesday was bad. I didn't know how I would make it through that day. I hoisted the big question mark flag to God and waited...

Thursday morning I got the following email from my dear Oregonian friend (author of Can't Help Myself blog), which got me started putting together some of the pieces of what I couldn't figure out. After reading it I was finally able to confess my sin to God and to my children, and a weight was lifted.

For those of you who are sometimes disillusioned, here is her encouragement. It is long, but worth the read...

My dear, dear friend. Big hug to you right now! To say "I've been there," would be as silly an understatement as saying that "I've been to church." I still do go there--regularly, if not religiously. Sometimes I feel as though I live there. I so despise myself in those times--I feel as though all the growth and "ah-ha!" moments in the past 5 years have been a lie. Back to square one--round and around she goes. . .

However, to quote a fascinating woman come across my path of late--"But, God!...... I love those two words....as in 'They meant it for evil,
BUT GOD used it for good.' Those two words make all the difference."

You slam the door at your kids.
The enemy celebrates.
You weep.
BUT GOD. . .
allows you another chance to remind your kids
that you are walking along this path of life with them,
and sometimes need their prayers and forgiveness too.

You say hurtful words to your kids.
The enemy says, "Now that's a gal I can use!"
You say, "What good am I to God?"
BUT GOD. . .
says, "Go show your young ones the plank
I helped you remove from your eye so that
they will know it is compassion and humility that makes you
dig for the specks in theirs."

You grumble about things that you thought precious just yesterday.
The enemy stands back to watch as your feet and legs
are immobilized by the hot, desert sand of discontent.
You let guilt cause you to sit down and wallow in it.
BUT GOD. . .
uses your little sojourn back to the desert
to remind you of His constant refreshing presence,
and that your daily bread. . .everything you have,
everything you really need, comes from Him.

You think horrible hopeless thoughts about surviving this day.
The enemy paints your future a dull, primer gray.
You watch and wearily swipe a little gray on it yourself.
BUT GOD. . .
takes advantage of your attention
and the freshly primed canvas to dab on a bright
little speck which grows and multiplies and explodes
way beyond all boundaries into an amazing picture
of His glory and greatness.
And your life is a part of it!

You get so tired and soul-weary that all you can
do is lay down and say, "Ok, Lord.
You're just gonna have to carry me.
I just can't do it, and I'm tired of trying and failing."
The enemy screams in frustration.
Slowly, you begin to feel a little lighter as that rock
in your gut seems to vaporize.
AND GOD. . .
sets on your shoulders a new yoke--
the lightest one you have ever carried.
You look and find that it is only because He
is in the other side of it--bearing the full weight.

My beloved friend and sister, you ask where God is in these
times. He's waiting for you to stop and humble yourself so that He can
lift you up. Every single time, I am (very slowly) discovering that it
comes back to surrender. Setting down your sword.

You ask where the "way out" is. I think sometimes. . .maybe. . . it would be more accurate to seek the way through. You're right. God rarely swoops down and dumps a magical basket of spiritual fruit on our heads. He generally doesn't even remove or neutralize the temptation. (Then it wouldn't be temptation, would it?) The temptation remains, but He waits for us to stop and look to Christ. The
hard part for me is the stopping. On days like you described, I feel pressured to keep going and keep running, getting things done and throwing a prayer at Him on my way past. "Somebody stop me!"

But He calls us to "Be still and know that He is God." He calls us to come to Him
if we are weary and heavy laden. I have a friend who treats such situations as "emergencies." She figures that her kids need her to be able to pray effectively for them at all times, so when she is doing them no good, and her sinful attitude interferes with even being able to pray for them, she stops homeschooling, skips swimming lessons, whatever she needs to do and makes the time to stop and come humbly before the Lord, and then before her kids to pray together. I have begun to do that at times too, and not only does it radically change my whole attitude, but it has dramatically impressed my kids with the importance of humble submission to God and being right with each other! We have gone so far as to climb back into bed--all together--after lunch, and restarting our day with a "Good morning," and a stretch, and a prayer--"Thank you, Lord for this day! Show us how to bless each other and honor you!" You can't imagine the effect--on all of us!

My dear sister, thank you for your honesty in your blog. I imagine by the
time you get this e-mail, the troubled day may have passed. But they do come again. I don't have all the answers. I don't even always do what I have just told you. I am thick skulled and stiff necked.
I wait until the situation is desperate.
The enemy does his thing.
I play along.
But God. . .
always makes a way through to greater maturity
and the spiritual fruit tree which lies
just on the other side of this trial.

There is no end to the wonders He can accomplish. . .no end to the
good He can work out of all things when we surrender our sin and failure to
Him, the great Redeemer.

Disillusionment

2006-10-11T21:07:00.000-05:00

It has been a horrible day. Woke up feeling down and lonely. I'm a spontaneity-loving extrovert living a scheduled and isolated homeschool-mom life. By midweek of going hard at school I find myself struggling. And today was bad. Maybe it's 3rd trimester hormones--I do find myself wanting to cry a lot these days, which is unusual for me. Maybe it's B's extra work hours lately which mean I have extra hours with the kids. I really don't know.

Today all those things I've been learning about serving my God joyfully through all the trials and sacrifices felt hollow and unreachable. Today all I wanted to do was be alone or with a friend, without kids asking for things. It was all I could do to get an hour of school done, and by the end of that I had lost my temper and was yelling at the kids, slamming the door as I pushed them outside. Misery. Now I felt guilty, too, because of my lack of self-control and subsequent angry outbursts.

My honest question tonight is this: where is God when we are completely empty--poured out and exasperated? When one more question, one more sibling argument, one more noise, will put us over the edge and we find ourselves yelling angrily at our kids and saying things that crush their spirits? The Word says that God always provides a way out from temptation. So what is that way out in these moments of crisis? In my experience he doesn't often swoop in and miraculously anoint me with greater self-control, peace, or patience. Instead, I almost always give in and react out of anger and frustration, taking it out on the little ones God has given me to love and care for.

Some say I'm being too hard on myself. But I only want to live the way He calls me to, and sometimes that just seems impossible. Even when I am calling out for his strength.

Right now I just don't get it.

Go Go Gadget What?

2006-10-05T21:13:00.000-05:00

Monday night tends to be movie and pizza night around Crimville. After football practice, B stopped to pick up the cheapest pizza in town (Papa Murph's) and a movie. The cinematic thriller he picked out this week was Inspector Gadget, with Matthew Brodrick. It held my interest for about 14 minutes and then I started working on school stuff for the next day.

The kids loved it, however. After it was all over, we told them to run upstairs to get their jammies on. From downstairs we could hear them yelling things like, "go go gadget lightsaber!" and "go go gadget flashlight!" while leaping around their bedroom.

I think I just tuned the noise out for a moment then, because the next thing I recall was E suddenly bursting out, "go go gadget underwear!"

We weren't exactly sure how he came to think of that particular gadget, but it sure gave us a laugh!

Jealousy Reconsidered

2006-10-01T14:14:00.000-05:00

Totty has been going through a serious "daddy phase" lately. She adores him. She cries for him. She cuddles him whenever she has the chance. It's adorable.

And jealousy-inducing. For suddenly I'm not the all-important one...he is; he holds pride of place in her life.

I know that when she pulls away from me and reaches for him, my lower lip starts to protrude somewhat in a bit of a mommy pout. B, meanwhile, sees my expression and cracks a self-contented smirk. I think he feels bad for me, but really not that bad.

Today, however, we got a humorous glimpse of the flip-side of this daddy-fixation. B had just put E-Man down for his nap after church and lunch. I was feeling drained and ready for napville myself but figured I should do what was fair and put K down for her nap. I asked her if she wanted to go read with me. Her reply was one of rejection: she wanted Daddy to read to her. I tried a couple more times (rather lamely, I confess) to sway her, but soon Dad gave in and offered to read to her. I would be lying if I said I was disappointed. But, figuring she needed a pit stop for a new diaper, I offered to change her. Again she protested in wonderfully whiney 2-year-old fashion. I set her body down in front of me and as soon as I did, she slid her bottom directly over to where Daddy sat on the floor next to me. This is too great, I thought. By this time we're both laughing, especially when he undid her diaper and found it to be a duker. He was smirking now as he changed her, but not in that same self-contented way. The icing on the cake came when I noticed that her bottom was a bit red and asked her if she needed some cream put on it. At this B quickly chimed in, "yes, Mommy is the cream expert--she can do that part!" I opened the jar and was immediately rejected one final time. She wanted Daddy to put on that cream. Which he did--he was defeated and he knew it.

Still laughing I remarked, "I'm not so jealous anymore". And through his sacrificially clenched teeth B replied, "and I won't feel bad when you are anymore, either".

Fair enough, I suppose.

Apple Orchard Education

2006-09-20T21:31:00.000-05:00

So we went to the apple orchard today and learned many things. First, that they charge an entrance fee (which we would have known without looking quite so clueless had we paid any attention to the huge sign we walked past on the way in). Next, that 6- year-olds should not be allowed by their mommies to cut their own sample of apple with a razor-sharp knife (which I also might have known if I'd paid any attention to the sign right in front of me stating that only parents were allowed to do the cutting). Third, that the first thing to do when attending to a deep cut is to stop the bleeding by applying pressure. Fourth, that the staff at the orchard does not know where the first aid kit is. Fifth, that Neosporin can actually separate into 2 substances that do not resemble Neosporin (as learned when said staff finally found the first aid kit).

And that was all before we even got out to pick apples (which was great). It's amazing what you can learn on one little fieldtrip to the apple orchard!

Where Have All the Earthworms Gone?

2006-09-13T22:23:00.000-05:00

Today was "Exploration Day" in our homeschool curriculum. Thus, we explored. We nature walked, we read books about ants and moles and grasshoppers. We made a worm habitat. Then we waited with excitement for the grande finale: our worm hunt.

When I was little, my family--grandparents, aunts, uncle, cousins and all--would rent 2 little cabins up on Farm Island Lake. The old couple who owned the resort had a dirt pile like you wouldn't believe in their front yard (did I ever wonder why?). My four boy cousins and I would dig up all our fishing worms in that pile. And I kid you not, there was one time we found a nightcrawler that was 10 inches long and at least a quarter inch in diameter. He was the Godzilla of the worm species. We played with that thing for quite awhile, freak of nature that it was, and dreamed of how many sections we could make of it for bait. Then, when we finally lost interest and ran off to play, my cousin John ended up leaving it on the dock, surely to meet its demise in some sunfish who must have thought he'd died and gone to fish heaven. I think John may have feared for his life that night, we were so mad! Come to think of it, I think I'm still mad at him.

When I was an older kid, my dad and I used to put the sprinkler on in the front yard for about 12 hours. Then, late at night, we'd sneak out, flashlights in hand, ready to stalk subterranian life. I'm telling you, it would be hard to pay enough money for the free fun we had those nights! The lawn would be covered with the shiny worm bodies. A sweep of the flashlight would ignite a flash of excitement within me when a nightcrawler was spotted. Then, with quiet and stealthy footsteps, we would sneak up to the worm and prepare to grab it. This had to be done with great speed and skill. If you were too slow, the worm would disappear into his hole. If you pulled too hard, it would simply tear in half. They were slimy and fat and wonderful. I love that this was a part of my childhood.

So today I left the sprinkler on and dreamed of the fun we would have together tonight...

Unfortunately, I have never had to work so hard to find a few measly earthworms. Perhaps it's been too dry this summer and they've all gone deeper. Perhaps I didn't leave the sprinkler on long enough. Maybe we should have waited until later in the night (yeah, right, with 5 kids age 7 and under!). There were no shiny bodies laying on the lawn. Absolutely none. Instead, we had to dig. A lot. After probably a half hour of digging up various places in the lawn and next to the driveway, we had maybe 8 pathetic little worms. No 4-6 inch nightcrawlers. Just they're little lackey friends.

Oh well, we still had a good time. The kids were hyper beyond recognition, and my lawn needs to have some repair tomorrow. But at least each of the munchkids got to pull one of the slippery little guys from the earth and run around the yard like crazy homeschool kids.

Maybe next time we'll have more to show for our efforts.

Gift Idea for Baby Porter

2006-09-12T17:14:00.000-05:00

It's the perfect gift for Porter #3! If we all pitch in a dollar, we'll have it practically paid for. For $2 I bet we could even find a matching mouth guard! Who's in?

p.s. If you have no idea why this is funny (besides the ridiculous diaper-shaped helmet on this poor child's head--what did they give him to make him smile with that thing on?), go to www.faithcommunity.info and listen to Porter's August 20 sermon on "Courage".

Poured Out

2006-09-10T15:24:00.000-05:00

I have been captivated these past few days by a chapter in Desiring God--on Suffering. Sounds like a fun chapter, huh? Initially I think it's something we all shy away from--no one likes to actively think about being in pain, about sacrifice, or really anything that isn't about being happy. These are not popular topics. In reference to Paul's choice to suffer recorded in I Cor. 15:30-32, Piper comments, "this is not normal. Human beings flee suffering. We move to safer neighborhoods. We choose milder climates. We buy air conditioners. We take aspirin. We come in out of the rain. We avoid dark streets. We purify our water. We do not normally choose a way of life that would put us in 'peril every hour.' Paul's life is out of sync with ordinary human choices. Virtually no advertising slogans lure us into daily dying."

But God is using this chapter to give me greater joy in life. Me, the chronic complainer about mommy duties; the one who has struggled for years with all the sacrifices, inconveniences, and exhausting moments that happen every day in the course of caring for kids.

Yet God has not been content to leave me in this grumpy state, and this morning he caught my heart with Philippians 2:17: "but even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you." I love that phrase--poured out. It suits motherhood well. We give the best that we have every day in service to these little ones, and so often it feels as if we have poured ourselves empty. But Piper keeps reminding us of the joy. We can exchange lesser happiness--a carefree life, easy existence, uninterrupted phone calls and potty breaks, unlimited time with friends and spouse--for greater happiness--children who love Jesus, a heart submitted to his will for us, a content and quiet spirit that tells the world that Christ is "better by far", the hope of reward when all is finished.

One more Piper quote:

"The Calvary road with Jesus is not a joyless road. It is a painful one, but it is a profoundly happy one. When we choose the fleeting pleasures of comfort and security over the sacrifices and sufferings of missions and evangelism and ministry and love, we choose against joy. We reject the spring whose waters never fail (Isaiah 58:11). The happiest people in the world are the people who experience the mystery of 'Christ in them, the hope of glory' (Colossians 1:27), satisfying their deep longings and freeing them to extend the afflictions of Christ through their own sufferings to the world.

God is calling us to live for the sake of Christ and to do that through suffering. Christ chose suffering; it didn't just happen to him. He chose it as the way to create and perfect the church. Now he calls us to choose suffering. That is, he calls us to take up our cross and follow him on the Calvary road and deny ourselves and make sacrifices for the sake of ministering to the church [and our children] and
presenting his sufferings to the world."

Wow! What a different perspective than I usually have on life! Lord, please help me to live each day and see every sacrifice and inconvenience--no matter how small or big--through these lenses. Help me to embrace whatever you send my way and allow myself to be poured out for your glory.

Competency?

2006-09-06T14:46:00.000-05:00

It's been 2 weeks since I've gotten something posted on here. I've started a couple, but not finished them amongst all my preparation for school starting tomorrow. Which brings me to the conversation Jay and I had at lunch today...

We wound up talking about fruits and vegetables after I told the boys that if you eat too many carrots and similar veggies your skin will turn yellow. They thought that was cool, but I decided to continue the educational experience by quizzing Jay on whether certain foods were either fruits or vegetables, as determined by whether they contain seeds or not. We went through the obvious ones: apples, watermelon, celery, strawberries (not as obvious to Jay--he finally learned what those "dots" are on the outside!), cherries, grapes. Then, just to be funny, I said, "what about eggs?" He thought for a second and then we both grinned, catching the joke. "They're just eggs," he answered. Not wanting to miss the chance to inform him further, I corrected (in all seriousness, I'm embarrassed to say), "actually, they're dairy--they come from cows".

Probably 15 seconds went by in silence, myself being completely unaware of my mistake, before Jay said, "wait--don't eggs come from chickens?" The light flashed on inside my cranium and we both just laughed.

So as we head into our second year of homeschooling, isn't it reassuring to know that my kids are being taught by someone so competent?

Grocery Advice Needed

2006-08-23T22:36:00.000-05:00

I just got home from another depressing trip to the grocery store. Yep, definitely in the red again this week. I just can't seem to make it on the $100 per week we budget for food. I know of others who make it on less, so what am I doing wrong?

Here's what I think I do right so far: I shop first for sale items, basing my week's meals around whatever's on sale. I shop at multiple stores for food to get the best prices: Econo (good sales), County Market, Sam's, and sometimes Walmart or Target. We don't waste much. I try to buy the lowest cost per ounce possible. We don't eat a lot of junk food and hardly any pop.

Here are our trouble areas: We eat a ton of dairy--yogurt, milk, cheese--and some kind of meat in every dinner. My kids mow through 5 lbs. of apples in less than a week, as well as a lot of other fruit. We like to get a Papa Murphy's pizza once a week ($8 or less).

Does anyone have any great wisdom and/or tips for me? I'd love to know how others are making it work. Maybe we can all learn a new idea from this.

Arte d' Spaghettio

2006-08-21T22:13:00.000-05:00

I usually don't sit down long enough to chew, let alone play with my food, but I guess I just couldn't resist this time.

The Rising Cost of Gas

2006-08-13T15:50:00.000-05:00

OK, this isn't about what you think it is, so go ahead and read on--even if you're tired of hearing about the price of petroleum.

Back in mid-June we had one of those uniquely hilarious parental experiences; and of course, it centered around E...

He had apparently picked up a tummy bug right around his 4th birthday, because the next day he wouldn't even touch the birthday cake his gramma had made for him (per his specific instructions). A few minutes later as he played with his grandparents in the living room he suddenly turned around with a very non-E expression on his face. It was "the look". I flew into action, directing him to the bathroom as quickly as possible. He just made it before he erupted like a sick little volcano. Blech! After his episode he was fine. We thought it was over.

Four or five days later was J's final soccer game. We had a good time watching the "Tan Rockets" get stomped yet again, got home late, and put the kids to bed. Lindsay was staying with us that week after returning from Turkey, so the three of us were talking downstairs, enjoying the quiet, when suddenly there was a large thud! upstairs. Brian went to investigate. Soon I heard him yell those wonderful words that every mom longs to hear... "we got a puker!" As we dried off poor little E after a quick bath we noticed that his tummy was quite distended. He said it still hurt badly and it was rather hard to the touch. A call to the pediatrician convinced us we should take him to the ER with the nurse's concerns being that he might have an obstruction of some type. Lindsay stayed back as the other two kiddos slept.

So there we are, heading to the hospital at 11:30 at night, visions of exploding bowels running through our minds (ok, probably just mine--I'm the paranoid one).

The doctor examined him in just a few minutes and then stood back with a confident smile. He told us E was fine and merely had some tummy bug that was making his stomach very upset. He assured us there was no obstruction--in fact, he said the phone triage nurse really didn't know what she was talking about (great!). Ever the thorough mommy, I asked why his tummy was so distended. "Probably just excess fluid or gas from the bug," he replied. Then he left to get our discharge papers.

We breathed a sigh of relief and told E he was fine, to which he protested and looked like he would perhaps barf again. Then it happened. Out of that 4 year old's body came the most rank what-died-in-your-intestine smell you can just about imagine. I was the first to detect it, being the pregnant hyper-smell-sensitive one, and my hand flew up to cover my face. At first B didn't understand why I was groaning, but then he too caught a whiff. Words cannot describe that smell. E, obviously feeling a bit better, laughed at his impressive accomplishment. Then, over the next few minutes he ripped a couple more.

The "crisis" was clearly over and our little boy was fine, but we had just dropped almost $300 on our kid's case of the farts. In between protecting ourselves from E's emissions, all we could do was laugh together about this experience. It was actually a really neat moment--I was so glad B and I were together for this hilarious sequence of events. And what else can you do in moments like these but laugh?

Relieved and still chuckling on our way out, we informed the doctor that it might be a good idea to light a candle in exam room #2.